Rape has become more prevalent in our society in recent times, but what is more, people are beginning to talk about it. But that talk often ends in just the reportage of the crime with few dissecting the issue to look at it from the point of view of the victim.
It is not uncommon for people – and sometimes the victims – to say or think that perhaps, the act was somehow their fault, like they should be held responsible for what happened. Why was she dressed so provocatively in the first place? Was I too flirty with him? Shouldn’t I have known better? These are just some of those questions. Let’s tackle them one at a time.
Was It My Fault?
It is important to din it into the ears of everyone that “no one owes another person sex!” It doesn’t matter whether she was dressed a certain way and was thus asking for it; or that she was a tease; or that she said Yes, then changed her mind. Neither is rape a punishment that wayward or drunk girls should serve. Such thinking is never acceptable, and no decent human should ever try to justify it!
Think of this, you have the means to get an iPhone 7, which was then stolen from you. Would you say to yourself: “I shouldn’t have bought that phone knowing that robbers could steal it, it’s my fault that they stole it.” Silly, right? And should the robber be caught, will the faulty argument stated earlier hold any water in court? Of course not!
That’s the same way it is with rape. The right to do with our bodies as we please is ours ALONE, just as it is with how we spend our money – so long it is legal of course! – and when someone forcefully robs us of that right, the blame is ENTIRELY theirs. And I do not believe any of the above reasons people give for rape are a crime in Nigeria, and should they even be, only a court reserves the right to judge such matters!
Could I Have Prevented It?
There are different ways to look at this matter. How? The reason is that there are many depraved people out there who always seek to take advantage of others. How would you explain robbers who after burgling a home, proceeded to rape its residents? How could they possibly have prevented that? By magically becoming inanimate objects? Or by making their house invisible to robbers?
There simply are some things and situations that are beyond our control, and which contribute to making us victims of such circumstances.
We must also be reminded that we do not live in an idealistic world where everyone shares the same high ideals and principles with us. Hence, we must protect ourselves from these ones and their depravities. This MUST be put into consideration in our dealings with them. The reason you must carefully weigh your choices – well, as best as is humanly possible!
Should I really be alone with him? Should I out of respect for social or cultural norms just go along with whatever someone says? Should I really take the drink offered by Andy? I have been invited to this party, but what type is it, and who will be attending? Should I drink alcohol when I am out-of-doors? Should I attend a party alone or with a group of friends? Should I take the quiet and dark short-cut, or the busy longer route? How will I protect myself if I find myself in such a situation?
We are a part of society- the good, the bad, and the ugly – and it is for the seedier elements among us that we must protect ourselves; not because we owe them anything, but because we want to make ourselves less vulnerable to their evil, while we all stand together in making it a known fact that no one has the right to rape another no matter what they wear, say or do!