10 Friendship Red Flags You’re Probably Ignoring

Just like everyone else out there, I’ve had my fair share of bad friends. I’ve had friends who have thrown me under the bus for their own benefit, and I’ve had friends who have constantly put me behind everyone else.

Most of the time, it takes a while to recognise when a friend actually, well… sucks. Meeting a new friend can be like meeting a new crush. Everything they do at first is really exciting because it’s new. But after spending time with them, you start to see the cracks, and all the things that are wrong with this person. You start to realise that maybe they’re not really a good friend after all. Maybe they’re actually more of a frenemy.

So what are the things you can look out for when you’re trying to decide whether your best friend is awesome or the worst?

If S/he’s Super Competitive With You

A little bit of competition is okay, but someone who is constantly competing with you no matter what, is exhausting! That’s not the kind of friend you want.

They’re Not Always There

A friend should be there for you all the time, not only when it’s convenient for him/her. A friend who is only around when you’re upset is someone who probably hates seeing you happy. That’s not a friend!

S/he Ignores You Whenever S/he’s Dating Someone

It’s normal to ignore your friends a little bit when you enter a relationship. But if your friend is NEVER around the moment s/he starts dating someone, but wants to be around you constantly as soon as that’s over, that’s not a good sign. It shows that you’re his/her second choice.

When S/he Talks About Her Other Friends

If your friend is constantly gossiping about her other friends to you, that almost definitely means s/he’s talking about you to those other friends.

If S/he Never Listens To Your Advice

I have a friend who has spent the last nine years complaining about the same guy. He asks for my advice, and then promptly does the opposite. It is incredibly frustrating and makes me feel like, one, he doesn’t care what I have to say – or, two, he’s just using me as her free therapist.

If S/he’s Really Bossy and Controlling

If s/he gets mad when you hang out with other friends that aren’t his/hers… major warning sign. That is WAY too controlling of a trait for someone to be a good friend.

If They Get Mad Quickly Over Little Things

The problem with texting is that some people think that everyone is attached to their phones and should respond immediately. But you don’t have to respond to a text right away – and no one, especially a friend, should get mad at you for that. If you have a friend who flips out if you take too long to answer him/her, get rid of them. S/he’s obviously too demanding and irrational, and is only thinking about his/her own time.

When You See Them Manipulate Other People

If you’ve seen your friend manipulate other people, or be mean to other people a lot of the time, I guarantee that s/he’ll probably do it to you one day too.

When S/he Holds Stupid Things Against You

True friends realise that your priorities and life are different than their priorities and life, and that you won’t always mesh about everything. They won’t make you feel bad for little things. They’ll try to understand.

If S/he Insults You In Front Of Other People

Not cool, man. A real friend won’t put you down in front of other people, or at all in general. There’s a big difference between playful teasing between BFFs and just plain being mean.