breaking-up-15685794

You were positive that she was the only star in your sky, she was what made your world go round. For you, he was the reason the sun came up daily, and the only right answer in a world of Whys. But that was months ago, you don’t feel as strongly now as you did then. That spark is missing, it’s just gone! You don’t how, when or where, only that it’s not working anymore.

Sadly, the time has come to break things up, but you still care about them enough to want to do it without any hurt feelings. But how do you break a heart, and ensure little bleeding? Here’s how.

1. Don’t Do It Over the Phone, By Text, or On Social Media

Breaking things up this way is taking the coward’s way out. If you genuinely cared about them, you would talk to them about it physically, and in private. After all, you are telling someone to let go of something important to them. Taylor Swift never forgave Joe Jonas for his cowardly 20 second break up over the phone. There’s a lot of bad blood there!

2. Tell Them Why

As a teenager, it could mean that you have out-grown them, your needs have changed, you fight too much, or you are on different paths to the future. Take a long hard look at your thought process and examine your true reasons. Make sure your decision is truly how you feel, and not just an excuse to discharge them. Remember that what goes around comes around.

3. Make It Short and Painful

Are you surprised to hear this? Yes, it will be painful, but it is your duty to shorten the time period. Be decisive about the break up, and don’t give them false hopes that you may get back together in the future, even if they propose it. Once you’ve walked out the door, keep it firmly shut behind you!

You may compare it to removing plaster from a wound; you don’t want to prolong the pain by being unnecessarily slow, and you also don’t want to be too fast, and bleed the wound afresh. The right balance is needed.

4. Don’t Be Selfish

But I am breaking it up, isn’t that selfish? you ask. No, it isn’t if your reasons are truly genuine. There’s no reason to continue on a journey that you know in your heart is going nowhere. Would you board a bus going to Badagry, when Ikorodu is really where you are going? The other person needs to know, as soon as you are certain deep in your heart that it is over.

Don’t do horrible stuff, say terrible things, or start a fight just to push them to break up with you. That’s the grand-father of Selfishness!

5. Don’t Be Mean

This is the last advice for a reason. Whatever your reasons may be, whatever things you may do, remember not to be mean. The other person is human just like yourself – with feelings and emotions too -. Remember that it could have been you at the receiving end, how would you have liked to be treated?