Girl Talk: What To Do If Your BF Wants You To Send Nude Pictures

Hi Admin,

My boyfriend is begging me to send him naked pictures. I don’t feel comfortable having dirty pictures of myself out there, maybe even on the Internet. He promises he won’t share any of them, but I don’t want to risk it. He’s a nice guy, and our relationship is fine, but this is not something I want to do. Should I break up with him or just plain say no?

Response:  First, I just want you to know that there is nothing wrong with your stance on this issue. It’s completely understandable – and totally okay – to not want to send naked pictures, even if they are to your boyfriend. I don’t blame you for being worried that your dirty pictures will end up on the Internet or even just being shared with other dudes. That’s really valid, considering it happens all the time, and is exactly why we always recommend against sending naked pictures. Once those bad boys are in the hands of someone else, that person can do whatever they want with them. That’s scary!

Second? You definitely need to talk to your boyfriend before you just break up with him for asking. Tell him the truth – that you’re just not comfortable with the idea of sending naked pictures of yourself. He’ll absolutely promise you that he won’t do anything with them, but tell him that doesn’t matter, you still don’t like the idea of it. Let him know that it’s not an issue of trust, it’s just something you don’t want to do, with him or anyone else. Be stern so that he knows that nothing he can say will change your mind. If he’s a good guy who cares about you, he’ll understand where you’re coming from and he’ll back off.

If he stops asking, great! Continue your relationship. If he keeps pushing the issue, however, then you can consider possibly breaking up with him, because that’s annoying. You can give him one more warning, like, “You really need to stop asking, it’s getting on my nerves. I already told you how I feel, and that’s not going to change.” If that still doesn’t work, then maybe you should end things, because that shows that he really only cares about what he wants and he isn’t respecting what you want.

Just make sure you know that there’s nothing wrong with how you feel. Other girls may be okay with sending naked pictures, but that doesn’t mean you have to be. Don’t let this guy – or anyone else – ever guilt you into doing it.

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