10 Signs Your BF/GF Is Emotionally Abusive

Emotional abuse happens very often in relationships. Unfortunately, it sometimes isn’t taken as seriously as physical abuse, because you can’t actually see the damage that is being inflicted. But make no mistake – emotional abuse can have awful effects on a person who is experiencing it.

Unfortunately, many victims of emotional abuse do not want to admit that it’s happening to them. They make excuses for their significant other, and usually form an odd attachment to the person, even as their self-esteem is slowly destroyed. If you think you may be a victim of emotional abuse, read on. Here are 10 signs your boy/girlfriend is emotionally abusive. 

S/He Wants Your Attention 24/7

One huge sign of emotional abuse is a boy/girlfriend who wants you around constantly. At first, it may seem sweet and romantic that s/he wants to hang out every day, and text when you’re not together. It might seem cute that s/he wants to know about every moment of your day. But this isn’t cute, it’s controlling. If s/he needs you around 24/7, that’s not healthy. You both need to be able to give each other a little space. s/he shouldn’t be demanding your attention every minute of the day.

S/He Doesn’t Care About Your Achievements and Holds You back

An emotionally abusive partner isn’t only controlling – s/he’s also mean. One sign of abuse is a partner who is constantly holding you back. In a healthy relationship, your boy/girlfriend will be proud of you when you achieve something. S/He’ll support you through your decisions, and s/he’ll push you to always be better. But an emotionally abusive partner doesn’t want you to find success in anything. S/He doesn’t want to push you to do your best, because s/he’s terrified that you’ll move on to better things and realise what a loser s/he is.

S/He Calls You Names and Insults You

A major sign of emotional abuse is name-calling. Your B/GF should never call you things like “stupid,” “fat,” “idiotic,” or “insane.” That shows that s/he doesn’t have any respect for you. These insults are never okay, and shouldn’t be something you ever accept.

You Never Know What To Expect From Him/Her

Another sign of abuse is when your boy/girlfriend’s personality goes from one extreme to another. One day, s/he might be incredibly sweet and loving towards you. The next day, s/he might be furious, mean, and controlling. In other words, you never know what to expect from him/her. As a result, you’re constantly on edge, and probably a little afraid. This is not okay.

S/He’s Extremely Jealous

A little bit of jealousy is normal in any relationship. But too much jealousy is a really bad sign, especially if your BF doesn’t really have a reason to be jealous. He could be jealous about your platonic guy friends. He might get in a rage if another guy so much as glances at you. This stuff is not cute or a sign of his love and affection. It’s a sign of controlling, dangerous behaviour.

S/He Has Rules But Is Very Hypocritical About Them

Maybe it’s more extreme, like, “You can’t be with other people,” while he’s out there doing his own thing. Either way, a BF with strict rules for you, but none for himself is not a BF that you ever want.

S/He Blames You For Everything

An emotionally abusive partner will put the blame on you 100 percent of the time… even if it doesn’t make any sense, and is clearly his fault. If he ever does apologize, he’ll say things like, “I’m sorry, but if you hadn’t done what you did, this wouldn’t have happened.” In other words, “Sorry, not sorry.” In a healthy relationship, partners will be able to apologize when they have done something wrong. They won’t be constantly blaming each other for everything.

S/He Manipulates You

Manipulation is a huge sign of emotional abuse. If your GF/BF pressures you into doing anything you don’t want to do, that’s unacceptable. S/He might say things like, “You would do this if you really loved me,” or “Or s/he might get really extreme and say things like, “I’m going to hurt myself if you don’t do this.” Manipulation is never, ever something that should be involved in a relationship.

S/He’s Very Possessive

One major sign of possessiveness is a boy/girlfriend who doesn’t want you to be close to anyone else. S/He gets jealous of your relationship with your best friend. S/He hates all of your friends. S/He probably discourages you from seeing anyone else by saying terrible things about them or lying to you about things. This isn’t a sign of his love, it’s a sign of abuse.

S/He Doesn’t Trust You, But Has No Reason Not To

If your GF/BF refuses to trust you, despite the fact that you’ve never done anything to make him/her question you, that’s a bad sign. S/He shouldn’t be constantly questioning you even when you do something small like go to the mall. S/He shouldn’t accuse you of things that seem completely ridiculous and insane.