Spot Your Frenemies: The Kinds of Friends to Avoid & How to Deal with Them

There are a variety of friends that everyone needs to have in life. Think of friends who are always there for you regardless of any circumstance. Such friends are very necessary to have, but unfortunately, they are hard to come by.

However, there is this other kind of friends – The Frenemies! They are friends who drive you nuts.

Have you ever had a friend who makes plans to hang out with you but cancels when a better offer comes along? Or a buddy who is always kinda getting you into troubles? These problematic pals are known as ambivalent friends. To put it in a more popular way, they are called “frenemies.” Frenemies can be bad for your health because they won’t stop disappointing you after you’ve put your trust in them. In these troublesome relationships, qualities such as warmth and understanding go hand-in-hand with criticism, jealousy or rejection.

It’s always better to discard your frenemies. But if you would love to keep yours (perhaps because you’re too attached to them) — and most people do—you can minimise the negative effects by modifying your interactions with the mixed-weather friends and con­sidering impartial reasons for their hurtful behaviour.

Give Priority to Quality

If you want to be happy (and by extension, healthy), having lots of friends is much less important than having good ones. Choose your friends wisely. Consider reliability. Frenemies are problematic. No friendship is perfect, of course. But frenemies are consistently imperfect.

Unfortunately our lives are riddled with frenemies. Many are even in the family. And of course it is much harder to swap out a family member than a friend, no matter how troublesome he or she is. In addition, even irritating family members often provide support and warmth you cannot afford to give up. All you just need to do is to be rational with your trust on such kind of person all the time.

Be real with your expectation

I once read somewhere that “blessed are those who are not expectant for they shall not be disappointed”. I guess this should be your slogan for your frenemies. You should learn to expect very little from them because as unpredictable as they are, often raise your hopes only to dash them. And that disappointment, or fear of it, can negatively affect your health.

Learn to Cope With Your Frenemies

You can limit the heartache of these troublesome—but valuable—friendships and family ties using a couple of simple strategies.

1. If your frenemy tends to cancel at the last minute, for example, create backup plans.
2. If talking about politics or religion has led to snide remarks, steer clear of that subject.

I am sure the points above will help you better handle your frenemies henceforth. But then, the question is, are you sure you also are not a frenemy to another person in a kind of way? Well, your sure bet is to start controlling your own behaviour and be the kind of friend you’d want others to be.