Just before the www became part of our daily lives, a teenager’s only experiences with harassment involved dodging folks in the schoolyard. What an innocent time. Now that we spend the bulk of our waking hours glued to social media, the chance of being targeted increase drastically. The sheer breadth and scope of social media makes it difficult to contain a post before it goes viral. But you can protect yourself. Here’s how:
If someone is harassing you… Don’t delete it. Keep the evidence. Keep a screenshot. Do not respond. Tell someone. The conflict may be taking place out of physical school bounds, but school administrators are still at your disposal (and of course, always notify your parents). Don’t feel defeated if the post is anonymous, either. The internet never forgets, and detectives are equipped to trace IP addresses.
We know, we know: It can be so hard to demonstrate restraint when your knee-jerk reaction is to retaliate. Aggression will simply provoke a bully more. Plus, you want to avoid saying anything in the heat of the moment that can damage your integrity.
To take a post down… Facebook’s reporting tool allows you to flag the incident with their staff. Or, if you feel comfortable, you have the option of broaching the subject with the perpetrator directly. To report a tweet, tap the More icon, select Report, then if you indicate they’re being abusive or harmful, it’ll prompt you to enter more information (but it will disappear from your timeline regardless). You can also flag and remove an abusive direct message.
If someone posts an inappropriate photo of you on Instagram, tap the three dots, then Report Inappropriate and follow the instructions. For rude comments, swipe your finger to the left over the comment, then hit Report Abuse. If someone’s threatening to share private material about you over the site, contact law enforcement, report the perpetrator to Instagram, and block them immediately.
If you’re a bystander… It’s easy to turn a blind eye, but when you don’t intervene, you become part of the problem. You have three methods of approach. You can say “What you wrote was really mean” in whatever kind of language feels natural to you. If that makes you uncomfortable, notify a parent or teacher. Next, you can comfort the target. Say “I know you must feel bad, but they are the one with the problem. Let’s go report it together.” The truth is “that person needs the support and validation, too.
Remember you’re not alone… What do all targets have in common? That they’ve been targeted.” Translation: If someone does something against you, it’s more of a reflection on them than on you. Never allow yourself to be defined by someone’s opinion of you.
