Most teachers will be faced with helping students work through the grieving process at some point in their careers. With that in mind, we will like to share some of Meghan Mathis’s important points that might help you and your students during these difficult and challenging times.
Be As Informed As Posible
With confidentiality requirements, often it can be difficult to get all of the information and details surrounding a personal event such as a death or accident. Nevertheless, as the teacher of a student experiencing a serious crisis, you do need as much information as you can get in order to be able to best help that student.
Speak to your principal, the school nurse, the guidance counselor, and other professionals in the building who might have information. Make sure that they know you are not seeking gossip, but rather facts so that you can be prepared to help your student. Often other students will have information as well, but be wary of taking what they say as fact.
Allow Time To let The Rest Of Your Students Grieve
Plan some time in class to be spent signing a sympathy card for the classmate and, if appropriate, to discuss the tragedy and how people are dealing with the news. As a side note, make sure you discuss with your students what are and are not appropriate sentiments to express in a sympathy card – many students will have never signed one before and might have no idea what to say.
This is an important teachable moment – you are serving as a role model and example to your students demonstrating healthy, appropriate ways to deal with sad situations and to express sympathy and grief appropriately.
Be Sympathetic & Understanding, But Maintain Standards
If you are asked to provide work for your student while they are out of school, you might be tempted not to send anything home for fear of overwhelming them.
If you are concerned, send the work home with a note that lets the student know that you don’t expect them to do more than they feel comfortable doing, but don’t forget that your student might be looking for anything – even school work – to keep their mind occupied.
When the student returns to classes, this might become a bit trickier. Talk to the student privately to let him/her know you are there for him/her. Offer some suggestions if they need to take a break – like going to the restroom, water fountain, or guidance office if they are starting to feel overwhelmed, but make sure you don’t let too much slip in the name of being sympathetic or understanding.
Work With Your Students
Finally, if your student has been absent for an extended period of time, make sure you (and your fellow teachers) work with him/her to create a plan and a time frame for when and how the student will make up their missed work.
Having every teacher hand the student a stack of missed work when they return could overwhelm him/her, making their return to a normal school setting more difficult. Be firm on the work you want them to complete and when you expect it to be completed by, but be realistic about how much you are asking that student to do. Remember, they are still grieving and that will take priority in their lives for quite a while.
As a teacher, how have you helped your students through personal loss? Share in the comments section!
