I am 18 years and I’m in a relatively new relationship, but before I started dating this guy, I decided to be celibate for a period of time, at least until am convinced am ready for sex. The guy says he is cool with waiting and supports me, and is willing to help me meet my goals, but I’m worried that he might get tired of waiting. What can I do to keep him around and interested?
RESPONSE: Kudos to you for making that choice – and nice one to him for not making a big deal out of your decision. His actions speak volumes about his character, and also shows that he’s really into you!
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with setting some boundaries from the start, and there is a ton to be said for putting off physical intimacy in relationships. This helps to build a stronger emotional bond.
In reality, however, if you are already thinking that you have to do something to keep him around, then it’s not worth it. He’ll either stick around because he wants to, or he won’t. if he doesn’t, then it was never meant to be in the first place.
You can’t script something like this. if you approach relationships with a “if I do this, he’ll do that. if I want him to do this, I should do that” mind-set, you’re already playing games. Just be yourself (and be true to yourself) and work on communicating honestly with each other.
Why do you want him to be your bf? What is it about him that you like? What are your common grounds? What interests do you share? What interests do you not share but would like the other one to experience? What are you passionate about? Start talking to him about it – this should entice him to respond with a subject that he is as passionate about, get into a debate about the subject, question his ideas, share your thoughts and talk, talk, talk and talk a bit more.
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