Hi Admin,

Do boys get annoyed if a girl is too clingy? If so, what does a girl do that makes you think they are clingy?

In reality, I think the lines between “clingy” and “really, really interested” are often blurred for both guys and girls. Because every person has their own threshold for giving and getting attention, there are no steadfast rules (e.g. “Don’t call a guy on a Friday after 6PM in a month that starts with “m”!). There are, however, perhaps some more general things to keep in mind that will help prevent a guy from feeling overwhelmed.

For example, if you’ve texted once to no response, you should be able to check in again a day or two later with a different message. But it’s best not to ask if the first text was received – he probably didn’t respond for a reason. Repeatedly questioning or pressuring a guy is no way to get his attention. And if you’ve already sent two messages, and neither got you a response, don’t send a third. I can’t endorse his immature behaviour, but I can tell you that his phone most likely isn’t broken.

Ideally, each gesture made towards a guy should be eventually reciprocated, whether you’re asking for plans, or anything else. If he’s not sharing the responsibility of initiating within a reasonable amount of time, he is (whether intentionally or subconsciously) making a statement.

You should allow him to start conversations and suggest activities not only so you can prevent being the “clingy” one, but so that your own mental and emotional health can thrive. No one wants to be in a one-sided relationship, and you shouldn’t either! Let him pull his weight by putting limits on your own efforts.

As I love to preach, the road to a balanced and healthy relationship is best paved with communication. Obviously the first couple of months of any unfolding intimate friendship are a little trickier, rightfully involving some level of “mystery” before exclusivity is established. But once you two are committed, you should be able to have open conversations with your boyfriend to establish your own unique boundaries and expectations, and he should feel free to do the same.

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