Starting conversations are hard enough, but with your crush, they could be even harder! But you want to hold your own when around someone you like, and people in general. You want to ooze confidence from your pores, and have intelligent words march out of your mouth like well-trained soldiers.
So, what can you do to transform from a bumbling scatter-brain, to a powerhouse of confidence and smarts when around people, and especially that girl or guy who has your heart smitten. Let’s consider few.
Breaking the Ice
Sometimes the hardest conversations to have are those first ones when you are just getting to know each other, and not sure what to say. Don’t forget, ‘Hey, what’s up? How are you?’ always work to start a conversation. Other great topics to discuss include:
- Weekend plans – hers and yours
- Favourite day of the week – Is Friday your favourite day because you don’t have to get up early on Saturday?
- Shopping – Some guys actually like shopping, depending on the item. So it doesn’t hurt to ask about it, or you can even kick it off with a question about the latest video game or smart phone.
- The simplest route to starting the conversation is: “Hey, how are you? What are you up to? Would you like to…?”
Offering the guy some insights and opportunities is not only a great way to get him talking. It’s also a way to make plans together.
Most guys have an interest in sports, so talking or asking questions about his favourite sport is one way to get him talking.
- Ask him about his favourite team. What sport is his favourite to watch? Which is his favourite to play?
- Get him to explain the rules of a sporting event you don’t understand. What’s a throw-in? When is it an off-side? What are the conditions for penalties to be awarded?
- If you are already interested in the same sport, debate him about the merits of one team versus another. Guys like it when girls express an interest in what they love.
Don’t be shocked if he isn’t into sports, some guys aren’t. If he’s not, ask him what he likes?
When you have mutual interests, it’s easy to pick a topic and start there. But how do you get there?
- So what’s your favourite movie?
- What’s the scariest movie you have ever seen?
- Who’s your favourite actor/actress?
- Do you like to read?
- Where’s the funnest place you have ever been to?
- What was your best vacation?
- What’s your favorite food?
- Do you cook?
- What’s your favourite restaurant?
- Do you have any hobbies?
- Who’s your favourite superhero?
Remember, each of these questions is a kick-starter; you get the conversation going and then see where it takes you! Don’t be afraid to disagree with a choice, you need not be a yes-girl or yes-boy for the sake of love! Differing opinions will add even more colour to the conversation, but in all, argue your points out with respect and demand same.
Keeping it Random
The easiest conversation kick-starter is asking “What’s up?” If they say “nothing,” then you can always switch to “wanna hear something funny that happened today?” Avoid Yes and No questions since your aim is to start a conversation, not just get an answer. Use anecdotes – that is, personal experiences – to get the conversation going:
- Can you believe what <insert teacher name> said about the homework? Want to work on it together? (Use this especially if it’s a tough subject.)
- Did you hear the latest song by <insert the name of your favourite artist>? Check out YouTube for some really funny videos and share those!
- Ask “what if” questions such as “What if you could go anywhere in the world? Where would you go? Why?” “If you could solve one problem in the world, what would it be?” “If you were president, what would be the first thing you did?” Don’t worry if the questions are silly, just get the conversation going.
- If you could have a superpower, what would it be? You will be surprised by how talk of Superman and Batman can become really enlivening!
- You’re stranded on a desert island, what one item could you not live without?
Video games are always good conversation starters, but if you hate them, then do not bring them up since most gamers can chat about their favourites for hours. The conversation isn’t just about the person, it’s about you too since it takes two to have one.
Sometimes, the best conversation starters can be just talking about yourself. Tell him about a favourite aunt, or that trip you took with your out-of-town cousins to the mall. Give the other person an opportunity to share a similar story.
The key is not only finding things to talk about, but also enjoying their company. You also do not need to dumb yourself down to stroke anyone’s ego, be yourself – only a more fun and conversational one. If you are having a hard time finding things to talk about, this dead end might be an indication that it’s time to reevaluate your relationship.
Try it and tell me how it panned out.