A 26-year-old man has filed a case against Unilever Nigeria Limited (UNL), maker of Close Up toothpaste brand, for ‘cheating’ and causing him ‘mental suffering’.
The plaintiff has cited his failure to attract any girl at all even though he’s been using Close-Up toothpaste for over seven years now.
Close-Up advertisements suggest that the product helps men in instantly attracting women by letting their breaths out.
Anthony Olatunfe, the petitioner, also surrendered all his used, unused and half-used Close-Up tubes to the court, and demanded a laboratory test of the products.
Anthony was pushed to take this step when his female boss slapped his face when he tried to kiss her after brushing his teeth with the Close-Up toothpaste.
“Where is the Close-Up effect? I’ve been waiting for it for over seven years. Right from my college to now in my office, no girl ever agreed to even go out for a tea or coffee with me, even though I’m sure they could smell my breath. I always brush my teeth with so much close up gel to make sure the girls get turned on by my fresh breath as they usually show on TV.”
He argued that if he couldn’t experience the Close-Up effect despite using the product as directed, either the company was making false claims or selling fake products.
“I had always stored them in cool and dry place, and kept them away from direct light or heat. I brushed my teeth morning and night. I did everything they instructed. I even beat up my 5-year-old nephew for coming near my toothpaste, as they had instructed to keep away from children’s reach. And yet, all I get is a slap from my boss.” Anthony expressed his frustration.”
Unilever has officially declined to comment on the case citing the subject to be sub judice, but our sources inform that the company is worried over the possible outcomes of the case. The company might argue that Anthony was hopelessly unattractive and unintelligent and didn’t possess the bare minimum requirements for the Close-Up effect to take place.