Etiquette is all about learning proper social skills from how to make first impressions in interviews and during social events, to graceful dining habits that are vital signposts to success in today’s very competitive environment.
Table manners play an important part in making a favourable impression, be it at a formal meeting, on a first date, or during a social gathering. “They are visible signals of the state of our manners and therefore are essential to personal and professional success. The point of etiquette rules is to make you feel comfortable – not uncomfortable.
Good manners for teens include effective conversational skills, meet and greet essentials, gift giving and receiving protocol, telephone/cell phone etiquette, grooming, and table manners for informal and formal dining.
The following table manner tips for teens provided by Fiona Cameron-Williams, International Protocol Consultantto the United Nations International School in Queens, USA, during her Teen Etiquette and UN International School Etiquette Courses:
Simple table manners:
- Pass food from the left to the right. Do not stretch across the table, crossing other guests, to reach food or condiments.
- If asked for the salt or pepper, pass both together, even if a table mate asks for only one of them. This is so that others won’t have to search for orphaned shakers.
- Set any passed item, whether it’s the salt and pepper shakers, a bread basket, or a butter plate, directly on the table instead of passing hand-to-hand.
- Never intercept a pass. Snagging a roll out of the breadbasket or taking a shake of salt when it is en route to someone else is a no-no.
- Always use serving utensils to serve yourself, not your personal silverware.
In a restaurant:
- As soon as you are seated, remove the napkin from your place setting, unfold it, and put it in your lap. Do not shake it open. At some very formal restaurants, the waiter may do this for you, but it is not inappropriate to place your own napkin in your lap, even when this is the case.
- The napkin rests on the lap till the end of the meal. Don’t clean the cutlery or wipe your face with the napkin. NEVER use it to wipe your nose!
- If you excuse yourself from the table, loosely fold the napkin and place it to the left or right of your plate. Do not refold your napkin or wad it up on the table either. Never place your napkin on your chair.
- At the end of the meal, leave the napkin semi-folded at the left side of the place setting. It should not be crumpled or twisted; nor should it be folded. The napkin must also not be left on the chair.
At a private party:
- The meal begins when the host or hostess unfolds his or her napkin. This is your signal to do the same. Place your napkin on your lap, completely unfolded if it is a small luncheon napkin or in half, lengthwise, if it is a large dinner napkin. Do not shake it open.
- The napkin rests on the lap till the end of the meal.
- The host will signal the end of the meal by placing his or her napkin on the table. Once the meal is over, you too should place your napkin neatly on the table to the left of your dinner plate. (Do not refold your napkin, but don’t wad it up, either.)
cutting and chewing food should be done thoughtfully and graciously. You should cut and eat one piece of food at a time and wait until you finished swallowing before drinking from your glass. Carefully scoop small morsels on a plate with a knife and fork or gently pierce the food with fork spears rather than stabbing or scooping the meal as though it were your last.
Keeping your face, hands and mouth clean during a meal keeps the experience pleasant and enjoyable for everyone. Your napkin should sit in his lap throughout the meal and be used as needed. Anything unsavory you accidentally eats, such as a strand of hair or a piece of bone, should come out discretely. If you get food stuck in your teeth, need to blow his nose or experience a coughing fit, you should excuse yourself from the table and attend to the matter privately in the bathroom.
Cell phones are practically permanent fixtures in teens’ hands, but they have little place in a formal dining setting. Good manners mean giving dining guests your full attention – something that’s virtually impossible if you’re texting under the table every 30 seconds. Cell phones should be set on vibrate and placed in a purse or jacket, away from the dining setting. If you’re are expecting an important text or phone call, you should excuse yourself from the table before replying.
