In the book titled, No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Robert Glover, he provided a non-cursory explanation on this subject of discourse. He described the “Nice Guy Syndrome” as a set of personality, attitude, and behavioural traits which provides a template for a Nice Guy to take a passive approach to life and relationships, instead of standing up for themselves, they let others walk all over them.
Generally speaking, Nice Guy Syndrome describes a concept that involves both guys and ladies. They’re regarded as pushovers and perennial People Pleasers. To a great extent, saying no to request is a challenging decision for them, even when the request does not make sense.
Ladies take advantage of the Male Nice guys; they seem to be too considerate even when they want or need something, they’re afraid to ask for it because they don’t want to inconvenience others.
As you read, the names of some of your friends are beginning to pop-up in your mind. Don’t be too engrossed with such illicit epiphany, perhaps they are also thinking about you as they also read. It would be rather preferable that you concentrate your focus on dealing with this menace as it has to do with you.
Some of you want to garner approval from all and every persons around you; you want to wear the garment of saints? Be all from being generous, to being extraordinarily polite and sometimes plausibly flexible. How will that be? You can’t even say no to your colleagues at school!
As I write, I came to realise that quite a bulk of young people are wearied by this Syndrome and desire to be exonerated from this seemingly inextricable challenge! I have you a workable panacea that if carefully implemented can save you future embarrassments that this syndrome would bring upon you!
- Simply put, you need to grow the skill of assertiveness in you, and the best way to go about it is to be honest with yourself.
- Ensure to place premium value on yourself and your rights; be convenient with the fact that your thoughts, feelings and rights, are important and that those of your colleague’s are also important.
- Take cognisance of your rights and do your best to save guard it.
- Don’t give into needless apology, especially when you did not commit any offence.
- Come about lasting satisfaction to your need without sacrificing others’ needs in the process.
- Don’t blame yourself for how people respond to your assertiveness; don’t even take responsibility for it.
- Give yourself the privilege to express negative thoughts and feelings in a healthy manner.
- Control your emotions, allow yourself to be angry, but always be respectful.
- Always learn to say “No” when you need to.
If you give my suggestions a critical consideration, you would soon breathe the air of relief! Cheers!
