(By Kayla Chanai)
Today is a brand new day and a day to make better choices that will enhance our tomorrow. After our discussion last week and going through your responses, it was clear that sex is an interesting topic to you as it is to me and everyone else hence decisions regarding it must not be taken lightly. This means considering some very important factors; both physical ones, like the possibility of becoming pregnant or getting a sexually transmitted disease (STD) and emotional factors, too. Though a person’s body may look and feel ready for sex, but that doesn’t guarantee that the mind is ready as sex has very serious emotional consequences.
I know exactly how it feels at this teen stage of your life because I have been there and believe me, we do not like people telling us what to do. Every teen wants to be free to make his or her own decisions. When it comes to making decisions about sex, there are no ‘do’s and don’ts’, only guidelines. So deciding whether it’s right for you to have sex is one of the most important decisions you’ll ever have to make. Each person must use his or her own judgment and decide if it’s the right time and the right person.
There are many important things to consider when deciding whether you’re ready for sex, including;
- Your personal values and goals
- Whether this is something you really want to do or if it’s something your partner or friends are pushing you into.
- Your feelings about the kinds of emotional and physical risks you are willing to take
- What sort of relationship you want to have with the person you have sex with
For today, we would start with your Personal values and goals.
How do my personal values and goals fit in?
When it comes to making decisions about sex, it is important to answer these questions about what you value:
- What messages have you got from your family about sex?
- What are your religious, spiritual and moral views on sex?
- Do you want to be in a committed relationship before you have sex?
- What are you planning on achieving from the act?
- Do you think it would be worth it in the end?
Don’t be afraid to say “No” if that’s how you feel especially when it conflicts with your personal values and goals. We’ll continue next week.
Kayla Chanai is a writer, blogger, public speaker, advocate and a Librarian. She is very passionate about fighting Rape and domestic violence with Child sexual abuse as her focus. Since her teenage years, she has worked with various Organisations which include Destiny Resource Foundation, NAPTIP, WOCAN (Women Care Association of Nigeria), d-xtreme Unit, Christ Centre and March Against Rape which was birthed recently. She believes strongly in personal development and financial freedom which would aid in curbing the many ills of the Society. She currently resides in Abuja, Nigeria.
