Being respectful towards your family begins with being polite. It also means learning how to disagree and listen to each other even when upset. It can also mean just being there for one another and showing you care.
Method 1- Being Polite
1. Say “please” and “thank you.” You don’t like it when someone demands you do something without asking nicely. Sometimes, In a family situation, it’s easy to forget that. Try to always remember to say “please,” “thank you,” and “excuse me” when appropriate, even to family members.
2. Watch your tone. This step goes hand in hand with saying please and thank you. Nobody enjoys being ordered around. It’s important to pay attention to the tone you’re using when talking to family members. For instance, instead of demanding in a rude tone, “Get me some juice!” you could say, “Would you mind getting me some juice, please?”
3. Be responsible for your own mess. One way to be respectful and polite is to clean up after yourself. If you leave a mess for someone else to clean, that shows you don’t respect his or her time. Put your toys and items away, and put away dirty clothes. Clean up after yourself in the bathroom, and do your share of chores in the house.
Method 2- Learning How to Disagree
1. Talk about your feelings instead of pointing blame. That is, use “I” when you get in a disagreement instead of “you.” If you’re upset that your sister always hogs the bathroom, talk about how it makes you feel instead of pushing blame.
* For instance, you could say, “I feel disrespected when I don’t get enough time in the bathroom because then I don’t have enough time to get ready. I feel unprepared for the day.”
* Using “I” helps soften the tone. It helps the other person understand why you’re upset without pointing fingers, which can make everyone get defensive.
2. Take a deep breath. Everyone gets a little heated when he or she gets upset. The trouble is, that can make you not think as clearly and say things you may regret later. If you feel your emotions taking over, ask to take a moment to calm down. Try focusing on breathing in and out for a few minutes or counting numbers until you feel yourself calm down.
3. Stay on topic. Don’t throw stuff at the other person from past arguments. Don’t remind them of the last time they said something wrong or did something wrong. It only heightens emotions and doesn’t help the argument at hand.
4. Listen to what the other person has to say. In an argument, you tend to just want to make your point of view known; obviously, you think you are correct. However, you should take the time to really listen to what the other person has to say. Even if you decide to keep your point of view, you show respect to the other person by giving his or her view credibility and time.
Listening means actually considering what the person has to say. Don’t just sit there thinking up arguments against it.
5. Don’t yell. Yelling can scare children, and it teaches them to yell, too, instead of talking about what’s bothering them. Similarly, when you yell at an adult, it creates some amount of fear, which shuts them down, meaning they won’t be able to actually listen to what you have to say.
6. Be willing to change your mind. Whether you’re the parent, spouse, child, or sibling, sometimes the other person will have a point. That means that you need to be flexible.
This step also includes being willing to admit you’ve made a mistake. Sometimes you make a mistake, and you need to apologize. For instance, you could say, “I realize now that I was wrong. I truly apologize for the mistake I made.”
