Hi admin,

I’m an 18yrs old girl dating a 20yr old guy. We love each other and I have made up my mind not to have sex with him. He has never asked for it but sometimes I think he feels like having sex because of the way he looks at other girls and this gets me jealous. My friends advised me to have sex with him so he can love me more. Is Sex going to make him Love me more? Please help!!!

Hello Dear,

NO!!! Sex is never going to make him love you more.

One of the problems that disturbs teenage relationship is that young people especially teenagers have muddled sex and love and they do not really know the difference. Teenage girls are especially likely to think that if a guy wants to have sex with them, ‘he must love me’.  We have decided to clarify these two things.

Love and Sex are NOT the same thing and will never be the same. Love is an emotion or a feeling. There is no one definition of Love because the word “Love” is abstract and  can mean many different things to different categories of people. 

Sex, on the other hand, is a biological of physical event. Sex is of course the powerful biological urge that makes people want to have intercourse, or some other form of sexual contact, with others.

Differences Between Love and Sex

Love:

  • Love is a feeling (emotional).
  • There is no exact “right” definition of love for everybody, different people with different definitions of Love.
  • Love involves feelings of romance and/or attraction.

Sex:

  • Sex is an act (physical or biological).
  • Can happen between a male and a female, between two females, between two males, or by one’s self (masturbation).
  • The word ‘sex’ more or less equates to ‘lust’ or ‘desire’.
    Read Also: Can I Have Sex As A Teenager

Through the act of sex, a few things happen…

  1. Oxytocin in women skyrockets – creating feelings of trust, bonding, connection, and emotional attachment.  This is why women become much more attached to their sexual partners than men do.
  2. Dopamine soars in both men and women, making the activity pleasurable and addictive.
  3. 30 different parts of the female brain are activated during sex, affecting areas responsible for emotion, touch, pleasure, joy, satisfaction, memory, satiation, temperature, hunger, thirst, and tiredness.
  4. The electromagnetic field of a woman’s heart has the capacity to open a man’s heart and guide him down the pathway of love, as discussed more in the sexual fitness courses.

Note: SEX can increase feelings of LOVE and affection, but it does not and can’t dictate love.

And I’ll leave you with this to ponder… one of the biggest reasons why there is such a high divorce rate is because we’ve made sex equal love

Expressing Love without Sex

There are countless nonsexual ways to show someone you love them. You can show a person you care for them by spending time with them. Go to the movies. Or just hang out and talk. If you are with someone you really like, whatever you do together will be fun.

One thing that confuses love with sex is this, most people who fall in love with each other find that they desperately want to have sex together. This is as a result of hormones going crazy not because of love.

Read Also – Girl Talk: Is He Pressuring You For SEX? 10 Reasons To Say NO!!!

Do not confuse Love and Sex because they are not the same. Giving him your body or having sex with him will not seal your relationship with him and it also wont make him love you the more. It would only mean you want to cheapen yourself because you are confused and not sure he loves you.

Instead of sex, how about communication.Talk to him, this way you will know if he still loves you. Moreover, I have already told you other ways you can show love without necessarily using sex as an instrument to demonstrate love.

Our Counselors can help you, If you have any question, Feel free to send it to info@passnownow.com