Have you ever been in this awkward position where your parents argue? Have you perhaps been conflicted about what to do? Should I take sides, or not? How can I respect my parents when it appears they don’t respect each other? you ask.
Obviously, you love your parents and it is quite natural to care about them. But seeing them this way can be both upsetting, and confusing. Let’s see some simple things you can do.
Understand That Your Parents Are Imperfect
I guess this is the first reality check. Yes, your parents are not perfect! This means that they wont always get everything right. Therefore, it shouldn’t surprise you if their irritations build and become manifest in the form of an argument. Remember too that the pressure of making a living can take its toll on your parents, and place a strain on their marriage says the book “Questions Young People Ask, Answers That Work Vol.2.”
Also, just because your parents have disagreements doesn’t mean their marriage will come to an end. How so? If you have a best friend, don’t you find yourselves disagreeing on some minor things, working it out, and continuing with your friendship? Apply the same principle to your parents.
Don’t lose respect for your parents because you think they are not setting the right example by their actions. Besides, if you let their behaviour affect yours; then you are not showing yourself to be in firm control of your own feelings and emotions.
Be Neutral, Don’t Meddle
You must strive to be neutral in your parents’ disagreements, even if either one of them presses you to take sides. You may say “Mom and Dad, I love you both. But please don’t ask me to take sides. This is something you have to work out between yourselves.”
Why? Because you are not qualified to settle your parents’ disputes, just as passengers on an airplane are unqualified to take over the controls from the pilots. By remaining neutral, you will also be contributing to some measure of peace in a tense environment.
Tell Them How You Feel
Let your parents know how their quarreling makes you feel. Choose a time when you think they’ll be receptive and then respectfully tell them how their fighting upsets, angers, or even frightens you, says the book “Questions Young People Ask, Answers That Work Vol.2.”
Was this helpful? Do you see yourself trying them out? Do get back to us!