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What to Do When You Fall in Love With Your Friend

Have You Read the Signs Correctly?

One reason people fall for their friends is that they develop feelings and believe their friend might feel the same way. Before you assume that, however, make sure you read the signs carefully. But the big question is: Does your friend feel the same way? Here are signs to look for:

  • Your friend has hinted they  would like to try dating.
  • Your friend flirts with you.
  • Your friend seems to get jealous when you try and date other people.
  • Your friend doesn’t seem to date much and you suspect it’s because he or she is into you.

Before You Tell Them

If you tell your friend how you feel and they say they feel the same, you’ll be happy you spoke up. But if your friend doesn’t feel that way, you will feel disappointed and maybe even a little embarrassed.

Prepare yourself for any possible outcome but don’t let it stop you from trying to see where the relationship is going. Sometimes you will need to talk about your feelings in order to take your friendship to the next level. Most people who never tell their friend how they feel end up regretting it.

After you mentally prepare for how you’re going to tell your friend, go through what you’ll say if they do (or do not) share your feelings. Give it some thought so you are prepared, and remember to:

  • Choose a time and place where your friend has the space to absorb what you’re saying.
  • Don’t make it “too” big of an announcement, which can scare your friend off even if he or she has some feelings for you also.
  • Forgive your friend if he or she responds in a way you didn’t expect.
  • Allow your friend time to think if they need it.

When Your Friend Feels the Same Way

If you’ve been thinking about a romantic future with your friend for a while now, you’ve probably figured out how you want to proceed. But your friend might not be there yet even if they do agree to start dating. Give them the space to catch up emotionally, and discuss things if they get weird.

Remember, being friends first gives you an advantage in a relationship, but you still need to nurture things in order to make it work. Go slowly and know that with your friendship as the foundation of your relationship, you already have a safe place where you can get to know one another.

Read More: What Should You Say When Someone Says “I Love You”

When Your Friend Doesn’t Feel the Same Way

What if your friend is not into the idea of dating. If you mentioned this casually and didn’t make a big deal out of it, you might be able to recover and just hang out as usual. But even if you realize that dating would have been a mistake and get over it, your friend might always believe that you want them on some level.

In other words, things will get awkward and they won’t be exactly the same, but friendships do change over time anyways. If you mention the subject and your friend is freaked out, let it go and move on. Don’t harbour hope that things will turn around. If your friend acts like a jerk when you bring it up, perhaps they weren’t really much of a friend to begin with. 

SEE ALSO: Can a Boy and Girl Just Be Friends?

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