Kainene is head over heels in love with Junior. They normally find any chance they’ve got to talk to each other – whether texting, IMing or on social media. Junior is absolutely gorgeous, so handsome as to make any girl’s heart fail. Besides, he’s also attentive, thoughtful, and oh-so-charming, and he’s all hers! But he’s a boy, and boys will always be boys.
Though he hasn’t brought it up yet, she knows he will. It’s not a matter of if, but of when. Should she have sex with him? Will it bring them closer? These are questions that weigh on the mind of most every teen, so let’s sort it out.
What Sex Is
Don’t believe all what your friends tell you, or what you see in the media. Sex is simply a pleasurable expression of sexual feelings, which is best enjoyed in a committed relationship – as between husbands and wives – where emotional bonds are formed not only as a result of the sexual act, but also because they genuinely care and look out for each other.
The security of such relationships is what makes sex even more enjoyable, because it serves as a protection and frees you from such unnecessary worries like “Will he leave me after sometime?” “Will he still find me desirable?” “Is he just after my body?” or “Does he really care about me?”
What Sex is Not
It is never a bargaining chip for someone to love or care about you better! Neither is it what you should engage in because it’s cool, or because your friends, your favourite celebrity are doing it. Nor is it what you do to get something in return. Such thinking cheapens it, and also your self-esteem. It is also not what you do because you want to avoid ridicule.
Further, the most successful relationships are NEVER built on sex – even though it is a crucial part – but on really enduring principles that both share, and which can weather any storms they face.
Should You Wait?
This depends greatly on your morality, beliefs or religious convictions. But remember that you will be connected to this person forever once you have sex. He will be on your mind, and if your relationship does not work out, it will be quite difficult to get him out of your mind.
Also, sex usually means more for girls than guys. For girls, it is mostly an emotional connection with someone you love; but with guys, it is mostly a pleasurable exercise (which can be had with just about any girl!). So, if he gives up on you because of sex, then he really doesn’t love, nor genuinely care about you in the true sense of the word.
For a fact, some girls – and even boys – who engaged in sex before it was time wished they had waited, because they were disappointed that it didn’t fill the need or the desire they thought it would.
In conclusion, put yourself first in all things because you have the most to lose (think pregnancy, delayed education, looking after a child all alone if the guy bails, and so on). You should also act and have the mindset that any boy would be fortunate to have you in their life. You are more than just your body, you are the total package. Believe that!