Girls, this talk is for you! I know I’m not a girl, but believe me when I tell you that the points I’m about to present here are as valid as they come. Chum! So moving on, i will be discussing ways to politely decline a love overture without necessarily being rude to them boys. You know, as a male, I can authoritatively tell you how much it really hurts when a boy have some feelings for a girl and she doesn’t reciprocate said feelings. Every time a boy walks up to a girl and declares his undying love for her but in return she shuts him down, it feels like a bullet is fired straight to the maleness of said boy; and it’s just sad. So let’s discuss ways to say “no, please” without making them boys feel pathetic. But before I proceed, let me just say that I totally understand that while every girl’s dream is to be asked out by her crush, it’s also totally normal for a girl to freak out when someone
THE PROBLEM: THERE’S ZERO CHEMISTRY: You’ve been suspecting that your best [guy] friend has an interest in you which transcends mere friendship. And while you do love him like “a brother”, that love can never go beyond fifty percent to the other side. He will make a great boyfriend no doubt; but not just for you! So what to do?
Here’s what you need to say: “I’ve been feeling lately that you might want something more than friendship with me. I feel kind of awkward not saying anything, so I’m just gonna get it out there: I don’t have those feelings for you. OK, awkwardness over! What were you saying about the anatomy lab?”
Quaint, right? He will feel bad for a few hours, but at least he wouldn’t have to go home wondering whether he could even look into your eyes again. Problem nicely solved. Okay then…moving on…
THE PROBLEM: YOUR FRIENDSHIP IS ON THE LINE: Sometimes, there is a connection between the both of you which transcends mere friendship. But you’re so invested in your friendship such that you wouldn’t want to mess it up with some romance. So what to do, please! You need to clear the boundaries… Say something like: “I am such a goof at relationships that I don’t want to try something different with you and then screw it up. Can we please just be friends?” He will pester you a few more times. But come on, you already know what to do, girl!
THE PROBLEM: WRONG TEAM: It doesn’t matter who does the asking, being asked “do you want to go out sometime?” is always a confidence boost. Still, when it comes down to the essentials, sometimes the person in question just doesn’t jive with your type. What to do…
Just be honest: “I think you’re an awesome person, but I’m not just that into you. I prefer a [certain] other kind of boyfriend…” Now that’s not so rude; is it?
THE PROBLEM: “WHO ARE YOU AGAIN?” Listen, we’ve all had crushes on people who have no clue we exist, but you never thought the show would be on the other foot; until today, apparently… So how can you handle such awkwardness?
Instead of raising your eyebrows and letting that question sink, unspoken, into his desperate soul, try this: “I’m so flattered. I’d love to get to know you better, as a friend. Want to join us for a slice after school?” Now that’s right!
There are many more ways to say “No” to love overtures and being rude is not one of them!
Peace out, guys. Have yourselves a lovely weekend.
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