There are a variety of friends that everyone needs to have in life. Think of friends who are always there for you regardless of any circumstance. Such friends are very necessary to have, but unfortunately, they are hard to come by.
However, there is this other kind of friends – The Frenemies! They are friends who drive you nuts.
It’s a universally true: Not every friendship is meant to last a lifetime. It’s also true that many of us stay in friendships long after we should’ve said ciao. Why? That’s because we make excuses for the other person when we should be giving that person the boot.
Ask yourself: does any of my pals resemble the following? If so, it’s time to move on.
1. The “Out of Sight Is Not Out Of Mind” Specialist
You’ve probably heard about that statement a couple of times. But it’s not worth it if you’re the one that’s always initiating conversations. Don’t waste your energy on someone who’s too flaky or unengaged to be in touch. Hard to reach people only remember you when they need your help. When they don’t, they ignore. Learn your lesson: When there’s nothing in it for her, she’s less likely to respond to you, which doesn’t make a friend.
2. The One-Way Honest Pal
Yes, he can dish it out, but can’t take it. For example, if this friend is fond of saying stuff you don’t like, and when you complain, you’re not taken seriously. However, when you try similar stuff, your friendship is threatened and you find yourself always begging for forgiveness, while he’s free to say whatever he thinks. Not exactly fair. It’s time to ask yourself why you’re willing to keep playing by her lopsided rules.
3. The Gossip Champion
We all enjoy a juicy titbit now and then, but this pal thrives on dishing dirt. Be very wary. The more dirt she gathers on others, the more superior she feels and the more leverage she has over others. For her, knowledge is power, power is control, and she’s got control in spades. No one messes with her. And neither should you. And if she’s gossiping about other people, chances are, she’s gossiping about you behind your back!
4. The Putdown Expert
She makes little jabs and digs, often in front of others, assured you won’t mind the “all-in-good-fun” insults. This is her way of making herself feel better—certainly better than you. But what every good pal knows is this, the cardinal rule of friendship: Friends don’t ever, ever, ever put each other down. And friendship is never about a superior/inferior dynamic.
5. The Crisis reservoir
Her life is full of ‘Africa Magic Movies’: a mess of disappointments, let-downs, heartbreaks, and sadness. You are the therapist, confidante, and problem solver. Only, she’s not really interested in changing for the better; she’s more invested in keeping the drama running and having you as her travel mate. Why? Her problems are always so horrible, they take precedence. But your problems? Oh, puh-lease!
6. The Excuse Professor
This one will never stop disappointing you – having excuses for everything. The scenario is always the same: You make a plan for something and like clockwork he calls the night before or day-of with some excuse or another about needing to cancel. Every one of us has had to change plans at some point, but this friend makes it an Olympic sport. He may just be flaky, or manipulative—either way, he isn’t thinking about how his actions affect anyone else. And if you’ve mentioned the problem and it still persists, this is what he’s really telling you: “Too bad, so sad; I’m sorry you’re mad!” It’s time to call it a day with the friendship.
