It’s pretty much inevitable that, at some point during your teen years, you’ll be rejected or dumped or even heart broken. And when that happens, it’s likely that a well-meaning parent or mentor will try to cheer you up with some unsolicited, cliché advice. Here are the most common pearls of cringe-inducing adult wisdom — and what we really want to say back:
1. “One day you will look back on this and laugh.” This hypothetical time machine is really fun but I’m just gonna go back to crying, thanks.
2. “There are plenty of other fish in the sea.” Cool. That would be a huge relief if I was a freaking fisherman.
3. “Boys your age are after one thing.”
4. “You’re gonna be a real heartbreaker one day.” Oh, cool. I’ll be sure to inform the idiot who just dumped me.
5. “You’re too good for them.” Well, I think you’re just saying that.
6. “You’re too young to be in a relationship anyway.” I’m really mature for age though, and you will be surprised how much stuff I already know.
7. “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” Maybe it’s better to just remain weak.
8. “Someday you will find the one.” What if it’s not in time for Val’s day?
9. “Use this as an opportunity for focus on your education.” Great advice. I’ll go make out with my algebra book.
There’s no magic piece of advice to get you over a breakup — but that definitely won’t stop generation after generation of well-meaning adults from trying to find it!