Well, it depends on who you ask! The first question is: Am I old enough for dating? Whatever your response, these should follow: What are my intentions? Do I want exclusivity (that is, to commit to ONLY one person at a time)? Let’s address these burning issues.
The Right Age
Now, there are different opinions on this among several cultures. In some, boys and girls as young as 12 and 13 can begin to date under parental supervision, or they may be appointed a chaperone. But in Nigeria, most parents insist that their child reach the legal age – which is 18 -, and some even prescribe delaying dating till early adulthood (20-23) for obvious reasons – unplanned pregnancy, lack of emotional maturity to deal with relationships and heart breaks, and a lack of thorough knowledge of self -. But as you well know, children beg to differ!
Good or Bad Intentions
By intentions, I mean what do you hope to give and get in return? Do you just fancy her because she has a pretty face and a hot body? Perhaps, he helps you with your assignments and tests? Or because you hope to get some sex? Whatever your reasons, evaluate them. Because when you simply mess around with the feelings of others (especially when they think they are getting more from you), you are in real fact treating them like a ‘thing’, and not a human.
Exclusivity
Exclusivity is for committed relationships, and if you aren’t in one, you shouldn’t act like you are. You should also know that if they haven’t asked you to be in a relationship, they are not exclusive to you—and they shouldn’t be! Because such ones are still conducting themselves like they are single, free and up for the taking.
Here’s the thing: What if you date this girl for months, and finally ask her, “Where is this going?” and she replies with, “I just want to be friends.” Then you would have invested months getting to know someone who never had the intention of getting serious with you, and you would be left disappointed with no options on your plate.
You’re stuck either sticking with a girl who doesn’t want to commit, and maybe trying to convince her to change her mind, or starting over from scratch after months invested and no commitment to show for it. That’s a waste of your fine time! What you think of this analogy should inform how you treat others, and demand them to treat you. No one should be another’s play thing!
One Step At a Time
You shouldn’t fly before you have learnt how to walk, even airplanes have to taxi before they take off! So, take it in stages, and get to know a whole lot of people, hang around with them and get to know each other well before making your choice. This way, you are not getting anybody’s hopes up – because they see you as just a friend, and there are no expectations from either side. It only becomes something more when you decide it is, and the other person is open to the idea.
Have a different opinion? Pray tell.
