In a certain TV series, a girl told a boy “3 words, 8 letters – say it and I’m yours.” Why does “I Love You” mean so much, both to the person saying it, and the recipient of the words?
When You Both Feel the Same Way
The happiest outcome when you hear these words is to be able to genuinely say “I love you, too” right back. Don’t worry if it sounds common-place if it’s how you genuinely feel. The person really went out of their way – overcame their fear of rejection – just for you, and it’s your job to support them. Let them know that you are feeling the same way if you are, and are convinced they are being genuine.
Some people have trouble saying these three words because they have said it before and been disappointed. It’s important to realize that the past is the past, and this person is not the same one as before. We are to learn from our past experiences, not be imprisoned by them.
When You Don’t Feel The Same Way
Unfortunately, you don’t always feel the same way towards the person who is saying “I love you.” If you don’t care about them, it’s not too big of a deal to simply refuse them. However, if you want to preserve a friendship without “wanting more”, you may need to find a way to let them down easily.
- Start by thanking them. Remember that they really put themselves out there to express their feelings, and that deserves some acknowledgment.
- You also need to be very clear that you don’t share their feelings. Blunt honesty is usually less cruel in the long run: A simple statement like “I can’t say that, because I don’t feel that way” is almost always the best response, because it’s honest. It also lets them begin the healing process of what can be very painful especially if they genuinely meant it
When You Are Not Sure
The fact of life is that our feelings are not always so clear, and when someone says “I love you” you may suddenly feel confusion. Love can be scary, but it can also be thrilling. So what do you do when you’re not sure? As before:
- Thank them for telling you how they feel.
- Express your uncertainty, and let them know that you need more time to think about it.
- They may be eager for a quick decision, but remind them and yourself that it’s a very important one. It deserves the time it takes to know, one way or another.
In all three scenarios, one thing is common. Honesty. Whatever your choice will be, speak truthfully – because the foundation of all friendships whether platonic or romantic MUST be founded on truth.
Are you interested in the response of the boy mentioned at the opening of this article? Watch it here. xoxo
