Having being in a relationship with someone which later ended will naturally make you have both positive and negative feelings.
How you experience the grief of breaking up has a lot to do with whether you were the one who initiated the breakup or you were on the receiving end. Should you be the one who ended the relationship, it is unlikely you would experience all the stages of grief – denial, anger, trying to get them back, sadness and acceptance -.
Being the one who ended the relationship, you might experience anger or sadness and then move into the acceptance stage, but it is not the same for everyone. Some people who end a relationship stay angry with their ex and have difficulty moving to acceptance or forgiveness.
On the other hand, if your partner was the one to end the relationship, you may go through all the stages of the grief (as outlined earlier). Being on the receiving end of a breakup, it is unlikely you will skip any stage. It is also normal that as you move towards the final stage – acceptance – you also find that little things can stir up all your old emotions. Hearing a song on the radio, or seeing him/her behave as if nothing happened may trigger a fond memory of your ex and bring back the sadness or anger stage again.
There is no absolute perfect timeline for grieving. The length of time is as individual as you are.That being said, sometimes people get stuck in a stage and have difficulty moving on.
Considering all these, is it healthy for you to be friends with your ex? The answer is that it depends. If you have moved through the grief cycle and have accepted that the relationship is over then Yes, being friends is healthy. It shows that you have let go of the past and any hope to be together in the future.
On the other hand, should you be stuck in a particular stage of the grief cycle and have difficulty progressing through it, then the answer is No. It would not be healthy for you to be friends with your ex if the intention is to be friends because you long for the past and wish that a friendship will rekindle a romance between the two of you.
