A boy once told me that he finds girls who can’t carry conversations quite boring, he even thinks they are not all that smart! I think that’s taking it a bit too far, and I told him that much. A girl also said she is unimpressed by a guy who hogs conversations (who talk more than they listen, perhaps in a bid to show off their smarts) – that she just can’t shake the feeling that the boy likes the sound of his own voice a bit too much, which is a total red flag for her!!
So, you want to strike a balance. Talk intelligently, and listen attentively! That peeps, is a formula that will never fail you, and it is my great pleasure to show you how.
A List of Things to Talk About
If you are someone who gets nervous or easily tongue-tied, talking may not come as easily to you as it does to others. Don’t worry about your skills, or lack thereof. Prepare by putting together a list of topics. A topic list can be jotted down on a note card, in a text document on your computer, or on your phone.
Creating your list of topics to talk about should be more like directions for what to say to avoid the “um”, “as in”, “you know” or worse – the long, empty pauses that might convey a negative message that you don’t intend at all.
Topic List
When you are putting together your topic list, remember three key things:
- Never use shorthand you do not understand in messages. In other words, if the letters “xoxo” do not mean “hugs and kisses” to you, do not use it.
- Keep you topic list generic, do not write a “script” because the last thing you want is to sound like you are reading from a script. Something in the manner of “You must be so tired, you ran through my mind all night.” C’mon, that’s really cheesy!
- Let the conversation flow, remember that your topic list is a guideline, and not a rule. It is like a phone manual, not the phone itself.
Now that you have these things in mind, you are ready to create your own personal list of things to talk about on the phone.
Create Your Own List
The following is a sample list of topics you can use to fill in the empty places in your conversation.
- Talk about what interests the person – sports, fashion, history, trivia etc
- Discuss popular films
- Discuss favorite television shows
- Ask “what if” questions
- Fantasy vacation spot
- Fantasy date
- Personal goals
- Talk music, past, present and future
- Talk favorite foods, movies, places to visit
When You Call
If you have just gotten to know someone you like and you have the person’s phone number, don’t hesitate calling and saying hello. In today’s Internet world, you are more likely to have the person’s Facebook or Twitter identity before you have a phone number. If the boy or girl you are interested in gave you his/her phone number, then it is a safe bet that he/she is inviting you to call.
It may be easier if you have a purpose for the call. For example, you want to talk to the person about a movie you think he/she would enjoy. Have a general idea of what you want to say on that first phone call. Keep why you want to talk to the person firm in your mind, whether it’s just to chat or ask him/her on a date.
Last Piece of Advice
If you don’t have a better reason to chat up or call than the fact that you just wanted to hear his or her voice, consider being honest. It may open up a completely new avenue of conversation for the two of you. Ultimately, when you are stuck for something, consider just listening. One of the best things you can do for a person that you like is to listen.
See how easy that was? Go! Blow their minds away.
