A teenager once said of her experience:
I have finally come to accept the fact that I will never fit in. I have been trying and trying, but maybe I just don’t fit in anywhere. I always thought that if I spoke up around friends, that they would accept me, but it doesn’t seem to work. I’m thinking of giving up on trying to fit in.
Do you think she’s right? Should she just give up?
Well, I do not think she should except she feels she’s better off without them. You know, there are some friendships that are just toxic and unhealthy, and if you have to do, or be something you are uncomfortable with just to be accepted, then it’s not worth it.
But what if this is not the case, and your association with them will be wholesome, are there things you can do?
If you’re unlucky enough to be stuck with classmates who don’t really “get” you, you’ve just got to try to make the best of it. But that doesn’t mean you need to “fit in,” or at least in the way that people think. If you try to transform yourself into a clone of everyone else, it won’t help you make friends. It’ll just make you feel like a fake.
You also shouldn’t shut down and refuse to be friends with everyone who isn’t like you. If you do that, you will just make yourself miserable (and miss some great opportunities for friendship).
Instead, you have got to work on being comfortable and confident with who you are while ignoring all the haters. Keep on speaking up, asking questions and getting to know people better. If you send out positive energy, then people will generally send some back to you. A couple of them will continue being jerks, and you’re allowed to forget about them. (You don’t need to be “accepted” by everyone at your school to have a great social life.)
If you feel like you’re doing all that but still not getting anywhere, then don’t give up. Just expand your circle and look beyond your school if you have to. Try to find a couple of like-minded people you can connect with.
Remember too that you won’t be stuck at school forever. When you finally go to the university, or get a full-time job, you’ll have new opportunities to meet interesting people- and it gets easier with time.
Here are some tips for people like you who want to stay positive at school while being true to your personality:
- Be kind to others
- Don’t be afraid to be different. Own it!
- Let your inner self speak – whether it’s through music, art, science, or whatever.
- Have patience with people who are different from you. (You know, the ones who are so “normal” they’re practically clones.)
- Don’t change just because someone else thinks you should.
- Know that even though you may not “fit” in, there’s always someplace you are welcome in the world.
And these are all the truths you need to know. Never doubt it, you matter – very greatly!
