Should a Girl Play Hard to Get?

This is a question every girl who has come of age, and begun to receive attention from the opposite sex asks herself. You must have asked yourself what the right way to go about it is. Worry your pretty head no more, here are the deets!

The book He’s Just Not That into You, says that when a guy is ‘into’ you, he will pursue you. He will make time to be with you and talk with you, no matter how important he may think he is. When a guy is into a girl, the thought of another guy being with her makes him jealous. This is why he will make his intentions known in advance, and not risk the girl being unavailable should he wait too long. On the reverse side, when a girl is being pursued, she knows that the guy is interested in her. There is no need to guess.

Some guys are interested but lack the confidence or sometimes the skill to demonstrate their interest in a particular girl. So, at times, a little encouragement can go a long way. In this situation, once a girl takes the initiative and opens the door for the guy, he can usually walk through on his own.

But don’t be confused, there is a BIG difference between opening the door for the guy, and opening the door, grabbing his hand and dragging him through it. The first is meeting him half-way, the second is just being plain desperate! If you are wondering to yourself, will this guy call me or respond to my text, will he change his mind? That is a clear message you are doing more than offering encouragement.

If a guy seems to be interested only if you are doing the chasing, and if it appears you are the one always having to bend backward, and plan around his schedule, it is highly likely that his behaviour toward you will not change. Meaning that if he has not pursued until then, then he won’t pursue you after. If you can live with this knowledge and have no more expectation, that is a question you must ask yourself.

If you want to know what his level of interest in you really is, then let him show you. Let him know that you are interested in getting together, and look forward to hearing about the arrangements he has made. This way you are putting yourself out there, but still playing it safe.

Likewise for communication, you only call, email, or text message in response to his initiation of communication with you. No hints, suggestions, and/or ideas from you about what to do, or where to go. You only respond once he notifies you of the arrangements and plans for what he has made, or if he tells you what his ideas are and asks for your feedback.

By giving him room to pursue you, you can better gauge his level of interest. The ultimate secret is to find the right balance between showing that you are interested, but that you are not desperate.

What do you think? Do let me know.