You want to be there for friends, but should you do everything for them? No way! It does not mean that you are disloyal or unsupportive, just that there are some things that are too much to ask and would be wrong to do for a friend, no matter how much you cared about them.
1. Something Illegal or Immoral
Common sense tells you not to break the law, but people may ask you to do something illegal that they personally think is “no big deal.” Make no mistake, breaking the law is always a big deal.
If a friend asks you to do something illegal, just tell them No! You don’t need to explain yourself further. The same goes for something immoral. Things like asking you to cheat or lie aren’t things you should ever have to do for a friend.
2. Change Your Personality
While you may learn a lot from interactions with friends and even be inspired and encouraged by them to positive pursuits, you shouldn’t have to change who you are just to be accepted by them. While helping a friend change their bad habits is a good thing, but expecting them to become something they are not, or a clone of yourself is completely different.
Friends should bring out the best version of yourself that you can possibly be, not make you into a Mini-Me version of themselves.
A common misconception is that just because someone else has a problem with your friend means you cannot be friends with that person. Truth is you may not have all the facts about what happened. Shouldn’t you at the very least reach your own conclusion about someone, than allowing your friend do that for you?
Even if one person has more money than the other, that doesn’t mean they should pay for everything all the time. If one person can’t afford certain things, then you should find something you both can afford to do. Friendship should be focused on the things you have in common, not the areas where your life is different.
The problem with one person paying (even when that person can afford it) is that the other person will feel indebted to them in some way. Even if the “payback” isn’t monetary in nature, there will be some kind of obligation that one friend feels because the other took care of the bill.
Friends should have an equal voice in their friendship, and if one friend pays while another goes along with it, decisions might be made by the wealthier friend rather than the one on a tighter budget.
5. Give Up Your Favorite Hobbies
Just because your friend doesn’t do the same hobbies as you, it doesn’t mean you need to give them up. If you are fortunate enough to have found something that inspires you so much you lose all track of time, don’t give it up just because another friend doesn’t like or understand it.
Instead, keep a variety of friends in your life where you can enjoy their company on different levels. Maybe with some friends you will only do a certain kind of things, while with others you do other kind of things. That way, you still get to do the things you enjoy and with friends who enjoy them – only at different times!
While friends may help you grow and mature, remember that you are still your own person. Don’t give that up to do something that crosses a boundary for a friend. Stay firm and be true to who you are. Your real friends will expect no less. A true friend should never ask for more than you can give – judge the quality of your friendship with this simple rule.
See Also: 7 Things You Should Never Let Your Friends Do To You
