What Heartbreak Has Taught Me – 13 Girls Share Their Experiences

Heartbreak is so universal, there’s even an emoji for it. It’s comparable to receiving multiple blows of betrayal, frustration, anger, disappointment, and sometimes even self-blame, all at the same time!

While every situation is different, one thing that’s true across the board is that heartbreak always teaches you something about yourself, about relationships, or about life. Teen Vogue asked 13 girls to share what heartbreak has taught them, and these were their submissions.

Read on.

For me, I am glad that my heartbreak came at the time it did because without it I wouldn’t be who I am right now. I’m also glad for my group of girl friends who came into my life just as I had my heart broken. I needed that breakup to happen when it did, because that relationship was preventing me from growing up.– Sara

It is difficult to find a guy who actually wants to be with me and doesn’t just want me for my body. I have been promised so many things that seem to disappear as soon as I want a commitment, so I have learned that I feel a little too deeply, and that I shouldn’t look for my self-worth in other people. – Tara

I have always wanted that clichéd, young love romance kind of relationship, but when I go looking for that, I get hurt. It isn’t easy to just stop looking for it because it’s always in the back of my mind, so I guess I have learned to be more realistic. – Alison

Breaking up with my last serious boyfriend really hurt. But I realised, with time, that I was such a different person with him in a more immature way. I am way more independent and in control of my own life now. If I had stayed with my ex, I would have never grown into the person I am today.– Layla

I learnt that not all heartbreak ends in closure and finality — relationships can end in many ways: enemy status, complicated half-relationships, or sometimes even friendship. You might even get your heart broken by the same person time and time again. I have learnt to trust my gut. It sounds a little weird, but your gut will guide you out of the dark.– Alison

Breakups are usually a blessing in disguise. My first boyfriend cheated on me a lot, and I was too innocent to realise it at the time. Besides, I didn’t cry when we broke up, so that tells you something. – Isabelle

When I think about exes, there are some things that I am really happy that I got from them. I feel like everything is a learning experience, so while heartbreak sucks in the moment, I do think everything happens for a reason.– Claire

I pictured what being a relationship would be like, but my actual relationship was very different from what I pictured. Really being with someone — holding their hand and texting them “good morning” and “goodnight” is something you don’t know how to expect. Being in a relationship taught me what together meant. Heartbreak taught me what loneliness was. Once you break up, you are left with yourself, and after being in such a strong unit, you feel like half of a whole. – Lauren

I have definitely experienced more heartbreak from friends than relationships. I feel like the disappointment, anger, and frustration associated with relationships are also feelings that you can have when your friends hurt you. One of my friends didn’t tell me my boyfriend was cheating on me, and I was equally disappointed in her as I was with him when I found out the truth. – Christina

I don’t really know how much of my relationship was real, and how much was an illusion. I met my ex when I was just learning to love myself, and I hadn’t believed that someone else could love me like that. That relationship taught me to be confident in myself, and that confidence has lasted even after we broke up.– Bella

I haven’t been in love, but I have been in unrequited love (that is a love that is not returned). It’s crushing to realise that the person you care so much about doesn’t care about you in the same way. You wonder what you did wrong, and if you could have done things differently to make them like you. But chances are it just wasn’t meant to be. I have learned to trust the universe, because the person I thought I liked would have been very bad for me, and he taught me how to deal with rejection in a healthy way.– Juliann

After a while, I started feeling like my boyfriend’s other half — like half a person, instead of one person in a two-person relationship. I forgot who I was because I only saw myself in terms of us and because of that, I blamed him. I never told him how hard it was to stop saying I love you, because I did still love him — I just didn’t love myself anymore, and I had to sacrifice one of us for the other. I learnt that loving yourself is just as important as loving another person. – Cassandra

We didn’t date for that long, and when we broke up he was a jerk about it. Now he’s texting me and Snapchatting me like nothing happened. He moved away and I thought I missed him. But then I realised when he started texting me that I didn’t really miss him — I just missed being in a relationship. – Gabby

I hope you profited by it. Would you like to share your experience and/or opinion with others on the forum? Feel free to do just that in the Comments.