So imagine that you have written JAMB severally and failed each time and most

[if not all] of your friends from secondary school have all gotten admitted into tertiary institutions of various types. You will be happy for your friends most expectedly. Yet deep down within your inner self, you will feel serious resentment for them. You will continually ask yourself questions like- what is so special about them? How come even Tunde passed JAMB and I couldn’t? And if it so happens that other people [parents especially] begin to compare you with these academically successful friends, there is every tendency that you will feel depressed and in worst case scenarios, give up on yourself.

To be frank, it can be really hard to have your friends become successful while you remain in the same circle. And the worst part of it is that society tends to look down on one once he or she fails to meet up with certain expectations, especially so when his/her peers have met such expectations. On the issue of gaining admission into institutions of higher learning, it is a pretty big deal. Once a student finishes secondary school and stay a year at home without proceeding to the university, people begin to raise eyebrows. They will question question such a student’s IQ, wonder whether they are witches and wizards preventing him from being successful and then they finally just write such a person off as a nonentity.

When I was in the university doing my undergraduate studies, I heard a story about someone this actually happened to. All of his friends with whom he attended secondary school got admitted into universities [both within and outside the country], yet he continued to write  and fail JAMB. It got so bad such that whenever his friends where on holiday and he went to their houses to visit them, they would give him attitude. The particular incident that really got to him was when he went to visit his closest of all the friends, and surprisingly the friend’s mother told him never to come to their house again. The woman said she was a bad influence on his son and that she would not let her son keep associating with a failure. After that unbearable insult, the young man made up his mind to pass JAMB that year or die trying. He did try his best and good enough he finally passed and was admitted into one of the best universities in the country. Now here is the beauty of the story- the fact that he completed his programme before that friend whose mother was insulting. This is because the story which the friend attended was a State university which was always embroiled in one strike or the other.

So what can teens do when their friends are doing better than them? Please note that inasmuch as the experience can be painful, the best way to cope with it is to not be jealous of them. Instead, let their success motivate you to strive to be successful yourself. Ask them how they were able to achieve their success, learn from them and then aspire to be  like them and perhaps even better. The only time you should look keep away from them is if they make you feel inferior or tell you [outright] to leave them alone. Otherwise, you need their success as good inspiration.

All the best in your aspirations.

Jealous