I am dating a guy who is not my normal type. None of my friends can stand him. They all think he is a loser because he dresses differently. His family is not rich, and cannot afford to get him trendy clothes. But I don’t care about that!
He is a great guy and he is good to me. Why cant my friends see how good he is for me and be happy for us? Why are they making it so hard?
The social structure in school, and life in general can be unforgiving and unfair. All too often the things that make some people popular and other people unpopular have nothing to do with the substance of the people, or the content of their character, but everything to do with superficial things like clothing, how much money they have, or good looks. But love is often blind to things like this, and that is a good thing.
If a guy makes you happy and treats you well, that is way more important than what he wears or whom he hangs out with. If he is good to you and good for you, this is all that matters. But you need to face your friends and their irrational disapproval, and that can be a difficult thing to do since it is only natural to want to fit in, and have the approval of our friends. Peer pressure is a very influential force, especially for teenagers, and far too many relationships are crushed by the weight of it.
- Make these your words to live by; the clothes don’t make the man.
- Stand up for your guy whenever your friends cut him down, and always remind them that he is good to you. If they are real friends, eventually this will sink in and they will support you.
- Insist that your friends include your guy whenever possible, and ask them to try to really get to know him for your sake. Again, true friends might protest but in the end they want you to be happy and will at least give him a chance.
- Never sit by silently while your friends criticize your guy. Tell them that you do not appreciate them being so superficial, and then tell them why he is so great. Do this every time they put him down. Eventually they will get it.
- If your friends, or your guy, ever put you in the position of having to choose between them. Just refuse to do it. Tell them that they are both very important parts of your life, and that you wish they could get along, but if they cant, you will just have to make time to see them at different times. Then stick to the plan. Never give in to the pressure.
Love cant conquer all, but peer pressure should never be allowed to control you. If your guy is a good guy, your friends will come to see it in time. You just need to keep singing his praises and bring him around them as much as possible. If they see how good he is to you first hand, eventually they will come around.
