Dating: When is it Most Appropriate?

You probably have heard notions like; you should not date anyone until you are 18. Others do not give the age limit, they are of the idea that anyone can date when he/she is mature. Admittedly, the urge to be with someone who is not only special but thinks you are special is very strong at teenage years. With advice from every corner about this subject matter, you are thrown into confusion as to when is most ideal to date. Frankly, are you ready to date? When do you think is the most appropriate period, time or age to date? What is/are the reason(s) for your answer? Let’s address some basics.

Are you dating? Think about the following and answer yes/no

1. On a regular basis, you go out with one member of the opposite sex
2. Several times a day, you and a particular member of the opposite sex text and call each other
3. Every time there is a gathering of young folks, you and this particular person of the opposite sex often pair off

Answering this question will help us define dating. The answer to all three is ‘YES’. What exactly is dating? Dating is any form of regular social activity in which your romantic interest is directed to one particular individual of the opposite sex and his/hers is directed to you. So whatever the case may be, as long as there is romance in your relationship with a certain member of the opposite sex, you are dating. It’s that simple. Are you ready to date? Let’s see.

What is your reason?  

You see a boy and a girl holding hands as they walk across the play ground or as they walk home. ‘How romantic!’ you say to yourself. You begin to feel this inner urge to be with the opposite sex.

Why do you want to date? Many young people are struck dumb with ignorance when asked this question. They have absolutely no idea why they want to date. Others date only in response to both internal and external pressure. Some teenagers say their reason for dating is ‘to gain experience pending marriage’. In some culture, dating is a way for two young people to become better acquainted but this writer thinks dating should have a more honourable purpose.

Dating is serious business. Clearly, when you date someone, you’re affecting that person’s feelings. You put their emotions at stake. Don’t you consider it rather insensitive to confess love and romantic lines to another individual just for the fun of it or gaining experience. It is toying with the emotions of the other person like a child who picks up a toy and dumps it for another. Dating is no fun when the other person is taking it seriously and you are not.

Contrary to the popular belief, teenagers do not gain experience from casual dating, they only come to see relationships as transitory rather than stable. Subconsciously, they begin to think of marriage as a relationship that should end in divorce, informed by the many breakups that characterized their dating relationship.

So, ask yourself ‘why do I want to date, what are my cogent reasons; what plans do I have for this individual I intend to start a relationship with?’ If you can’t define your purpose, then you are not ready to date nor is it appropriate for you to start a romantic relationship.

There is another question worth considering. They will be treated subsequently.

Related Article: 10 Things You Need To Know Before You Start Dating