Discovering one’s sexuality and not being unable to explore it can be so constraining, annoying and even depressing. This is even truer if one lives in a conservative society like Nigeria where any form of lewdness is instantly frowned upon; much less when teenagers exhibit such. Yet, as teens mature sexually, majority of them still find ways to explore the big changes taking place. Anyone who has ever experienced puberty will relate with some of the points below. I know some of them are bizarre. But in most cases it is funny because a time will come when you look back at your pubescent days and just laugh out loud or better still sigh in disbelief. Anyway, such is life.

Pubescent teens imagine all kinds of things about sex. It usually always starts with the imaginations. You think of how nice it must be to have sex and what a nice life that adults who freely have sex must be living. And even though sometimes you have doubts

[as girls often do] as to whether having sex is even something you may want to do, they still constantly obsess over it; albeit in very subtle manner.

They develop crushes on people they find sexually attractive. For teenagers, their understanding of love is formed purely by sexual attractiveness. They see someone they imagine might be a good sexual partner and then they think they love the person. That is why such puppy love feelings are called infatuation. Now let us get one straight, and that is the fact that teenagers most times do not end up having sex until they are adults; not even with their crushes. Therefore, crushing is still a form of imagining sex.

In search of “a cure” for their intense sexual fantasies, teens resort to romance novels, romantic films and even pornography. At this point, teens are completely allowing their entire beings to be overtaken by their sexual desires/fantasies. They also constantly look for ways to relieve it which is why they may resort to romance novels which are usually the most available, films which may be censored by their parents and pornography which may or may not be difficult to access. Accessing these materials that expose them to varying degrees of sexual content may also mean that teenagers may start to masturbate; thereby beginning to explore their sexualities as well as release some of the sexual tension. Now I am not going to surmise whether or not masturbation is good or bad. I must however warn against exposing oneself to any form of pornography as it presents sex unrealistically and in a way that could [potentially] ruin one’s sexual life.

From pornography to masturbation, teens may begin to experiment with actual sex.  This starts with kissing to touching and then the actual thing. And this is where the problem lies because teenagers are not very equipped to handle sex; to be frank. Not only are they fully mature to explore and enjoy the act (so I believe), they are also not prepared to handle the consequences. And there are so many likely consequences that could result from sexual relations! Talk about pregnancies which is the most common, and diseases of various kinds. In the light of all these therefore, I recommend that teenagers wait until they are mature enough to handle any likely result of sex.

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