Unless you’ve directly experienced bullying, you may not realize just how devastating it can be, especially to a child or teenager. As well as being deeply hurtful, bullying can leave anyone feeling frightened, angry, depressed, and totally undermined. But bullying should never be tolerated. Whether you’re the one being bullied, or you’re a teacher or parent who thinks their child is being bullied or engaged in bullying behavior, there are steps you can take to deal with the problem.
What is Bullying?
Bullying is repeated aggressive behavior that can be physical, verbal, or relational. Boys frequently bully using physical threats and actions, while girls are more likely to engage in verbal or relationship bullying. The results are similar:
- You are made to feel hurt, angry, afraid, helpless, hopeless, isolated, ashamed, and even guilty that the bullying is somehow your fault. You may even feel suicidal.
- Your physical health is likely to suffer, and you are at a greater risk of developing mental health problems such as depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, or adult onset PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder).
- You’re more likely to miss, skip, or drop out of school to avoid being bullied.
The most damaging aspect of bullying is its repetition. Bullies are often relentless, bullying over and over again for long periods of time. You may live in constant fear of where and when the bully will strike next, what they’ll do, and how far they’ll go.
Types of Bullying
1. Physical Bullying
· Hitting, kicking, or pushing someone…or even just threatening to do it
· Stealing, hiding, or ruining someone’s things
· Hazing, harassment, humiliation. Making someone do things he or she doesn’t want to do.
2. Verbal Bullying
· Name-calling
· Teasing, taunting
· Insulting or otherwise verbally abusing someone
3. Relationship Bullying
· Refusing to talk to someone
· Excluding someone from groups or activities
· Spreading lies or rumors about someone
· Hazing, harassment, humiliation. Making someone do things he or she doesn’t want to do
Why Kids Bully
There are many reasons why bullies may be targeting you. The main reasons are usually your physical appearance or social standing within your peer group.
Bullies tend to pick on people who are “different” or don’t fit in with the mainstream. It may be because of how you dress, act, or because of your race, religion, or sexual orientation. It may simply be that you’re new to the school or neighborhood and haven’t made friends yet.
Warning Signs Your Child Might Be A Bully
- Frequently becomes violent with others
- Gets into physical or verbal fights with others
- Gets sent to the principal’s office or detention a lot
- Has extra money or new belongings that cannot be explained
- Is quick to blame others
- Will not accept responsibility for his or her actions
- Has friends who bully others
- Needs to win or be best at everything
Tips For Parents Dealing With A Bullying Child
- Learn about your child’s life. If your behavior at home isn’t negatively influencing your child, it’s possible his or her friends or peers are encouraging the bullying behavior. Your child may be struggling to fit in or develop relationships with other kids. Talk to your child. The more understand about his or her life, the easier you’ll be able to identify the source of the problem.
- Educate your child about bullying. Your child may have difficulty reading social signs or may not understand how hurtful and damaging their behavior can be. Foster empathy and awareness by encouraging your child to look at their actions from the victim’s perspective. Remind your child that bullying can have legal consequences.
- Manage stress. Teach your child positive ways to manage stress. Your child’s bullying may be an attempt at relieving stress. Or your own stress, anxiety, or worry may be creating an unstable home environment. Exercise, spending time in nature, or playing with a pet are great ways for both kids and adults to let off steam and relieve stress.
- Set limits with technology. Let your child know you’ll be monitoring his or her use of computers, email, and text messaging. Limit the amount of time they spend playing video games and watching TV. Numerous studies reveal that many popular TV shows and violent video games celebrate negative values, reduce empathy, and encourage aggression in kids.
- Establish consistent rules of behavior.Make sure your child understands your rules and the punishment for breaking them. Children may not think they need discipline, but a lack of boundaries sends a signal that the child is unworthy of the parents’ time, care, and attention.
Tips to help parents and teachers to identify a bully and stop bullying
Teachers and parents of both the bullied and the bullies can play a crucial role in preventing, identifying, and stopping bullying. Creating safe, stress-free environments at home and at school can help prevent the tension and anxiety that can lead to bullying.
Despite how widespread the problem has become, many parents and teachers still have some misconceptions about bullying.
