It is normally tough to talk to your children about something as personal and serious as the topic of sex. Before you have this conversation, you’ll need to accept that. But, there are also things that can go wrong and make the talk even tougher. Here are a few, and what you can do about them:
Maturity is an issue, how serious will your teen take the talk? Young boys tend to laugh when this topic comes up and young girls can get very scared and nervous too. If this is the problem, have a book that you trust and show it to your teen. Point to specific pages and areas that you would like him to read. Ask your teen to spend some time with it and set a time to meet back and talk some more. Repeat this process until you are comfortable that your teen knows what you want him to know.
Teen angst can get in the way. If you and your teen are dealing with other issues or if your teen shows angry or moody emotions every time you try, it can be very hard to talk to him about sex or anything for that matter. If this is a temporary problem, give it some time before trying this serious talk. If it is a relationship issue between you and your teen, abdicate to another trusted adult and work on what the problem is in your relationship.
You aren’t telling your teen anything they don’t already know – according to him. If this is the problem, it is easily solved. Start talking about the issues of sexual conduct, like abstinence as the best way AIDS. Ask his opinion. Does your teen agree that this is a good practice? The talk doesn’t stop with the nuts and bolts of sex, family values can and should be discussed. When you do this, you’ll find out where your teen’s knowledge isn’t as vast as he thought it was. Then you can fill him in.
Your teen listens but never says much more than, ‘Hmm, yes.’ This is the type of teen that would like to keep private matters private. You can put this teen at ease by telling him straight out that he does not have to share anything private, but you want him to be okay with coming to you with any questions he may have. Assure him that you are open to talk about – and will bring up – the topic of sex along with any other topics that are applicable.