These days the preparation process for teens entering tertiary institution is pretty thorough. If your teen is lucky enough to have an older sibling, he or she is sure to have received helpful advice and pointers on how to negotiate the sometimes-turbulent waters of the tertiary institution. By now your child is so prepared, he could easily navigate this new and un-chartered territory.
As a parent it is hard to avoid acknowledgement that your teen’s entrance into tertiary institution is the beginning of the end of his childhood. Although your teen may be fully prepared and duly equipped to manage the road ahead, you may need to take a step back and ask yourself if you too are ready.
Sure, you have sat through the orientations and heard all the thoughtful reflections and advice from school administrators and counselors. If this is not your first child entering the tertiary institution then you may feel like a veteran. Can anyone ever prepare you, however, for the task of learning to let go of your little girl or boy?
You are expected to strike the balance between the push of letting your children negotiate situations on their own, and the pull of providing just enough support and guidance to ensure success.
As a parent of a teen transiting to the tertiary institution, you too will learn how to negotiate a new sense of independence, insight and ingenuity. An adolescent ego-centrism naturally leads teens to believe that they know better. Your new task will focus on setting the boundaries and creating the structure they may often seek to disrupt along with the rules they will try to bend. They now truly have a mind of their own and with each passing year, you will have the pleasure of watching them grow and mature. In many instances you will see the pitfalls ahead yet you will be powerless to prevent mistakes and missteps.
Parenting a teen in the tertiary institution is filled with joy and wonder. In less than half a decade you will be privy to a transformation that will often feel anything but seamless. There are bound to be bumps and bargains, successes and failures.
Parenting a teen in the tertiary institution often means taking a back seat to friends and associates. It means cheering in the stands instead of coaching on the sidelines until you get the clear signal that your assistance is not only appreciated but also at times required.
Perhaps there is no real way for you to prepare for the years ahead. A conscious commitment to remain calm and supportive, easy going and insightful, is certainly at least a good place to start. And although your teen is the one making the transition to tertiary institution, do not underestimate the effect this change will have on you. Your role as a parent will shift from active involvement to encouraging your teen’s autonomy and empowerment. Perhaps then your task as a parent of a teen in the tertiary institution is to prepare yourself for life after your children leaves the nest. For now, hang in there; the tertiary institution years can be a heck of a ride.