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If Friends Are the Family We Choose, How Can You Spot the Right Ones?

While we have no choice in the family we are born into, creating a family of friends is one of life’s privileges where we actually have a choice in choosing who becomes a part and who doesn’t.

Seeing how much freedom this gives us, don’t you think it would be wise to consider the following points so it will be easier to spot a true friend and choose wisely? Consider thus:

1. A Good Friend Is Honest

A good friend may not share every detail of every second of their life, but they do try to be clear about their intentions. This means that they try to present an accurate picture of who they are and of different situations. When something doesn’t seem right, they let you know.

2.  A Good Friend Shares Similar Interests and Values With You

This is probably the biggest reason you became friends in the first place, because there’s much to be said for chemistry and shared interests. As for fun, it depends how you define it: Some friends are fun because they are the life of the party, others are fun because they notice every strange little detail about a situation, while others are fun simply because they see life like no one else does.

3.  A Good Friend Is Attentive And Adaptable

A good friend is at least a fairly good listener and notices how little, day-to-day things affect you. They can’t read your mind, but chances are they can usually tell when you are happy, sad, excited, shocked or upset. If they are aware that they are doing something that annoys you, they try to change their ways or at least talk to you about it.

4.  A Good Friend Is Supportive Of You And Your Goals

Sure, your friend may think you are cool, but are they on the same page as you? Do they know what you want most out of life? A really good friend will know what makes you tick and help you become the person you want to be. They won’t try to change who you are or drag you into situations that make you uncomfortable or put you at risk of losing something that matters to you.

5.  A Good Friend Is One You Can Trust

A true friend won’t try to steal what belongs to you, or speak ill of you behind your back. They won’t gossip about you constantly or try to damage your reputation. They will let you know when they are concerned and do their best to stick up for you when you are in trouble.

6.  A Good Friend Makes It Clear That They Care About You

Different people may have different ways of letting you know that they care about you. A big clue that someone cares is that they talk to you fairly often and in general, know what’s going on in your life and act interested about it.

7.  A Good Friend Sticks With You In Good Times And Bad

Loyalty is a quality almost everyone lists when asked what they look for in a friend. A loyal friend will stick with you through everything – good or bad that happens to you. If you move or switch schools, they’ will do their best to stay in touch with you.

8.  A Good Friend Accepts You For All That You Are

In friendship, being accepting goes hand in hand with being loyal. They accept you for all that you are, so far it doesn’t require them to turn their back on their own values and principles. They are also patient with you when you make mistakes — even big ones — and learn how to forgive you when you hurt them. In other words, they treat you as you would like to be treated, even when you aren’t at your best.

And because friendship isn’t a one-way street, it requires that for as long as you want a true friend, you also need to be one yourself! These rules apply to you too, that’s how it works.

This article was adapted from about.com

See Also: 5 Things Your Friends Should NEVER EVER Ask of You

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