Have you ever seen someone and instantly felt attracted to every part of them, including their personality (even though you haven’t even talked to them yet)? Wait a minute, just before you call it love at first sight, I should let you know that psychologists call this the attractiveness halo effect. This is what occurs when you see someone who looks great – your brain jumps to the conclusion that their personality must be great too, hence the attraction.
We all know that not everyone’s looks and personalities match up. Some attractive people are total jerks, and some of the best people in the world aren’t what you would necessarily think of as hot. So the halo effect is really just an illusion. Your sudden feelings of love might go away as soon as you get to know the person better. So what is love?
Love is More than Just Looks
Everyone has different opinions about what love is, but few people believe that it is made out of stuff you can find just by looking at someone.
What About Those Who Said They “Just Knew”
You might meet couples who say that when they saw each other for the first time, they “just knew.” What did they really know? Probably that they liked how the other person looked and acted, and that they wanted to take things to the next step and get to know each other better. If they want to call it “love at first sight,” that’s their decision to make. But keep in mind that there are lots of other couples who get the same feeling when they meet each other, and it ends badly or doesn’t go anywhere at all. It’s not the first glance that makes it love. It’s the stuff that comes later – the commitment and caring that makes a relationship last.
The Danger of Believing Too Strongly in Love at First Sight
It is wrong to think that if you don’t have deep feelings right away, it could never be love. Some of the best and strongest relationships started out in totally unromantic ways.
More importantly though, the halo effect can be dangerous. If you see someone hot and assume that what you feel is love, you’ll overlook qualities in them that could end up hurting you. You might let them get away with abusive behaviour because your heart has taken over your better judgment.
Whether or not one believes in love at first sight is entirely up to that person, but don’t go out there expecting to find it and get upset when you don’t. And when you meet someone you instantly swoon over, be aware that there’s a whole lot about them you haven’t seen yet – including some stuff that might not be so deserving of your love.
See Also: What Should You Say When Someone Says “I Love You”