Are you a pushover? Do you constantly worry about what others think of you? Do you often lack the courage to stand up for yourself, without feeling guilty? Do you get so confused and agitated that you want to run and hide?
Would you love to be more assertive? If Yes, then this article is for you.
The fact is that a lot of people are shy and accommodating, especially around those they seek to impress. Ask yourself this: If you speak up, what are you guilty of? Having an opinion? Or being an individual? The fact is, you don’t approve of everybody’s actions, and everybody may not approve of yours. And that’s OK.
1. Know That There’s a Difference Between Assertiveness and Aggressiveness
Aggressive people attempt to force other people to do what they want. They also manipulate and intimidate people to get what they want. Meanwhile, assertive people are comfortable sharing their feelings. They also will defend themselves or others against unfairness and ask for what they need. What’s more, assertive people calmly state their thoughts and opinions. They use a respectful voice and respectful language. You can make your points in a strong, confident voice without the need to yell.
2. Yes, You can Say NO!
You can, and should say No to any request that makes you uncomfortable. For example, if you don’t want to do something with a friend, it is acceptable to say:”No” or “maybe next time.” Never forget that you have the freedom to make choices.
3. Be Aware that You Have Rights
You have the right to be treated with respect, and to demand it; to express your feelings, and state your needs. If anyone – a friend for example – does not respect your rights, then you need to question your relationship with that person. Assertive people do not let others trample on their rights.
4. Build Your Self-esteem
Think for yourself. Doing so will demonstrate that your thoughts, feelings and opinions matter. You will be more comfortable asserting yourself if you are confident in who you are.
5. Practice Being Assertive at Home
Role play everyday situations that you might face. Practicing assertiveness with family members will help you get used to expressing your needs in a safe environment.
To become more assertive, start by speaking up more at home, in your favourite class and around others (many of whom also feel insecure). Think about what you are best at, and develop those skills. Little by little, you can feel powerful, instead of invisible.
