What Do You Do When Someone “Just Want to be Friends” but You Want More?

Sophie has a big crush on this guy. She is so sure she loves him, because she just can’t get him off of her mind.

Recently, at a friend’s party she confessed her true feelings to him ( it took her all the courage in the world to do this), and he told her that he liked her too – but only as a friend. He said he just wanted them to be friends right now. But Sophie really, really wants to be with him, and she wonders if there’s a way she can make him love her.

It appears Sophie is suffering from a killer one-sided crush, also known as “unrequited love”, and there really isn’t much she can do to change it into something more since you cannot make somebody love you, perhaps you may only manage to make them like you.

And unlike what Sophie thinks, love doesn’t work the way she has envisioned it. The reason is that love – when it is real and returned – is one of the most amazing feelings one will experience. Although it is hard to accept that this person doesn’t return her feelings, it may help her to know that the way she feels now will be erased from her heart when she finds someone who does love her back.

And in dealing with her crush for him, since he has made his feelings clear – namely that he wants to be friends -, she really only has one choice. She can swallow her feelings, move on and work on having “just a friendship” with this guy or, she can harbour her feelings, hoping that the future will see this friendship turn romantic. Either way, the one thing she should do is actively take him up on his offer of friendship in spite of her deeper feelings and longing for more.

Since friendship is always a good place to start, and it is possible that as this friendship progresses he may come to see her many sides. With time, his feelings may even deepen into romantic interest. It is also possible that his “Let’s be friends!” comment is not a mere brush off, but a bonafide offer for them to start as friends because he doesn’t know her well enough to have any deeper feelings (a sign that he may a good guy), or he may be using the “friendship line” as a brush off (a sign that he is NOT a good guy ).

By becoming his friend, she also gets the opportunity to have him see a new side of her, and she of him. Thus, in getting closer, they may even fall into a relationship. Of course, the opposite is also true. As she gets to know him better, the feelings she has for him – which at this time is built on fantasy not reality – may disappear and she may lose interest in him, because there are no guarantees that these feelings will stay the same as the friendship grows. There are also no guarantees that his current feelings will change into love.

It is also possible that after becoming friends, they both may end up exactly where they are right now – in a one-sided love affair. But at this point in time, what has she got to lose? At the very least, she will gain a closer acquaintance, and at the most she will get her man!

Have an opinion? Feel free to share.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Scroll to Top