If you stay friends with someone for any length of time, chances are you will become angry at them at some point. We are all different in how we handle things, but even the most patient among us can do or say something hurtful in anger, which may damage a friendship. Remember that there are certain things that can’t be taken back once said.
So, below are some tips on what not to do when you’re angry with your friend.
1. Pretend That You’re Not Angry
No use in pretending, your body knows you are angry. A good strategy is to try things like deep breathing and counting to ten or higher. The issue isn’t whether or not you are going to get angry, it’s how you respond when you do. And pretending not to be angry will only cause resentment for your friend to build, and blow up some day
2. Say Exactly What You Feel
The moment you feel anger is the worst time to say the things on your mind. Instead, allow yourself to cool off first and get some distance. You might find that in doing this, you are not as angry as before, and can even see the other side. Or you might still feel angry but by then you’ll be better able to speak from a place of honesty rather than rage.
What’s more, when you allow yourself to cool off you’ll feel better about the things you say, instead of just speaking in the heat of anger and without thought.
3. Start Unfriending
When your friend angers you, it might feel really good to just start blocking them on social media, but hold off until you’re in a better space. If you give it some thought and decide in the end you would rather move on without them in your life, then go ahead and block. Until then, wait until you’ve decided for sure and are positive you won’t change your mind, or have had a conversation with them about the future of your friendship.
An immediate unfriending can backfire. If the person sees that you unfriended them, they might decide they never want to get in touch with you again. When you’re angry with them, they are probably upset with you too, and an unfriending action says you are completely done with your friendship.
4. Call Up Other Friends To Tell Them
It’s easy to let everyone know what you dislike about your friend when you’re angry, but whoever you vent to will remember your words. Be careful with this. Venting doesn’t necessarily make you feel better, and it has the power to turn other friends against you. After all, who wants to be in a friendship with someone who tells everyone else about your argument before you even have a chance to defend yourself?
5. Post About Your Fight, Even If You’re Being Secretive
It might feel good to post about your fight on Facebook so you can get a bunch of likes or sympathy. But remember, giving people your side only about an argument online doesn’t mean that they are really on your side.
Some people think they are being clever by not saying the actual name of the person they are complaining about on Facebook, but that’s a bad idea as well. There is always someone who will guess the person you are upset about, and your friend may end up finding out after all (which will put even further strain on your friendship)
6. Live With Your Anger
One of the worst things you can do is live in your anger, or allow yourself to remain angry for as long as you feel like it. Not only is it physically unhealthy, it’s unwise to remain in a toxic state of emotion.
Never wait until you’re done being mad before you let anger go. You need to actively work through the anger in order to feel better. When you’re calm, decide what you want to have happen next, like working out the argument with your friend or moving on from the friendship . Always make your relationship decisions when you’re calm and have spent time reflecting on what you really want from your life.
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