Comparison is the thief of joy
Above are the words of Theodore Roosevelt – 26th president of the United States – which clearly shows the down-side of making comparisons between persons, as we shall consider shortly.
Do you feel as if your life can’t compare to your friend’s life? Perhaps you feel that their accomplishments, abilities and blessings in life aren’t nearly as equal as yours? Comparing your life to someone else’s is a guaranteed way to make yourself feel bad, no matter how much you have accomplished in life.
Did you ever pause to consider that when you compare yourself to others, you are being unfair to yourself? The reason is that you are comparing their strengths to your weaknesses! Now, does that seem just, fair and equal to you?
You should remember that we are all meant to have different life experiences. Besides that, if you think others have it better than you, you’re probably not looking close enough. Here are a few points to help you start thinking differently.
1. Things Aren’t Always As They Seem
It’s not that you want friends to suffer or experience disappointment, but know that whatever you think about them is not the reality of the situation. If it appears that all you can see, or all they talk about is how charming their lives are, know this fact that all humans have to deal with one thing or another, and that the grass isn’t as green as it appears on the other side.
Perhaps, they have chosen not to share their problems with anyone, and you cannot fault them for that! We all deal with problems in different ways. But one thing is sure, no one’s life is ever entirely what it seems and perfect all the time. And you shouldn’t need the stuff happening in other people’s lives to feel good about yourself!
2. If You Focus On Someone Else, You’ll Ignore Your Own Goals and Achievements
People who have a great life and do good in the world rarely have time to look at others and compare themselves (that’s the truth!). Looking at someone else takes the focus off you, and all that you can do in your life. It diminishes you of energy, dims your focus, and robs you of your goals because you are spending all these gems on silly comparisons while the lives of your friends are on the fast track!
I tend to not compare myself that often to other people. I just try to do the best I can.
3. There Are No Accurate Measurements
Let’s assume you know all that’s going on in your friend’s life and still feel the need to compare. What exactly are you comparing? Each one of us has a unique path on this earth, so how can you really compare your life to someone else. Whatever we become is a result of every unique event that has happened to us, that has shaped us, and helped us be the person we are, and have the potential of being.
No two persons (not even identical twins) can live exactly the same life, making comparison a futile effort because it is very hard to put them side by side and judge. You have to accept that your life is going to be different from that of anyone else, and that it is a good thing.
As a close, keep also in mind the eternal words of novelist Oscar Wilde:
Be yourself, everyone else is taken!
