Understanding the Difference Between Lust, Love & Infatuation

Love, Lust and Infatuation are very different things entirely. In this post, I try to point out those differences.

LOVE

Love is not an emotion. It isn’t some warm fuzzy feeling that you get. Your ability to love is based on you, not anyone else. You love because of who you are. Your partner doesn’t have to earn your love. They don’t have to maintain it either. If you stop loving that person, then that demonstrates a problem with you, not the person.

Love is the sacrificial placing of someone else ahead of your own needs, wants, and desires. When you can lay down your life, so to speak, for someone else, you’ll understand love.

LUST

Lust is the absolute selfish desire to fulfil either a physical or emotional need or want. Relationships based on this and nothing else always ends and most of the time they just end badly.

God created us to have physical urges, desires, and needs. These in themselves are not wrong or bad. But when we yield to them and create a relationship solely around them, they can be destructive and hurtful.

INFATUATION

Infatuation is often a mental obsession. This is a person who will daydream, create fantasies, and, if not controlled, commit mental sex. This person may never act on his or her fantasies, but they more often than not create an unrealistic impression of the person they are fantasising about.

Many people find out what they imagined the other person to be isn’t the actual truth of that person. They can very quickly lose interest. Many people, who have built up infatuations for others, never get really, really close. Once a comparison is made of the person to their fantasy, they get disillusioned and disappointed.

Now, if you can be infatuated with someone you do know real well, this can only strengthen your relationship.

A CRUSH

Possibly, a crush is merely the attraction a person has for another person. Most relationships start with some sort of attraction. You see someone you like or you see things about a person you like and feel attracted to him/her. Many mistake this for love, but attraction is a powerful force.

Often, we consider a crush to be from a person who has an attraction on someone who is either unwilling or unable to have a reciprocal attraction. It would be like a boy being attracted to his married teacher, or a girl attracted to a boy already dating another girl or at least not interested in her.

A crush can be cute, or it can be dangerous too. They’ve been known to lead to problems, and often we dismiss them as temporary emotional outbursts. But that isn’t always wise.